Thursday, February 27, 2003

I KNOW FRANKLIN. I was sick as anyones business last nite and couldnt drag myself to the computer to do a blog entry. Not that it would be overly exciting anyways. So heres a double dose of blog for all you faithful readers out there.

Took my management 300 exam yesterday morning. I think i did pretty well on it, however, who knows. I think my goal now is to see how hard i can work at school and fail out. I dont know what else i can do besides work 12 hours a day and study 12 hours a day. I feel so damn drained but it doesnt matter. 20 Credit hours of school is enough to kill some people, but working 40 on top of that, sure its stupid, but i have bills to pay and i cant cut hours at work to study more. I'm really at a crux. But ill talk about this garbage alittle later.

Border classes...always fun. Fun cause i learn in there, not constantly, i have to remember this cause kolla will broadside me with this on a test. Finally had some good news, though. Mike(my boss at RCC, i know..another mike) cancelled one of our weekly meetings, thank god. Sure, its one hour extra a week, but looking at my schedule, one hour is an eternity to get stuff done.

I got home, felt terrible, was looking forward to doing some work(uh, that came out wrong) watching the west wing and law and order and going to bed. Yah, well...NBC died in the middle of the west wing, so...screw that. Wags was in bed by 11. However i did get my advance copy of the Two Towers dvd to play on my PC, so i watched some of that to relax. By the time i went to bed, i had a MEAN fever, was sweating and coughing like it was my job.

Woke up this morning feeling like i was dead. My boss at ITS told me yesterday that i shouldnt come in if i felt bad. So i emailed him and stayed home. Spent the morning trying to rest, but it didnt really work out that way. I went in to class at 1130, got another exam back i bombed which im so thrilled about. Figured what the hell, im on campus, ill go to ITS. Maybe itll keep my mind off things.

Too bad i get there and find out how i botched up 2 peoples machines the day previous. I thought i had fixed them, but instead, it made more work for someone else who had to go out and repair what i had done. So i sat there for an hour, fixed some disks...then back to class.

Worked on a lab for ECT 453 that is making no sense. I didnt learn anything because before my lab, i got to go talk to dr kolla again. This time about a class i took an incomplete in last semester AS PER HIS IDEA so that i wouldnt have to drop it and could make my work up from time off from surgery easier. So instead, he told me 2 weeks ago that it had to all be done by tomorrow. I didnt think it would be a problem and started working on the work that day. Then the next day, he assigns 2 homework assignments and 2 exams for that time period as well. Then i get 2 exams from dr border and an exam in management. Plus all the garbage at work, me getting the flu, i kind of got behind. So i asked him if he could extend the deadline. He said ok...then told me when he would extend it to.


Yes, thats right. I should graduate in august. So why would he extend it to december? He proceeded to go on a rant about how he doesnt think im going to pass his two classes and how he thinks im not going to pass the classes i need to graduate this summer. Ok, so i know i bombed the first 2 exams of his, but how can he tell me this stuff? Ive had 2 classes with the guy, one i got a B, the other i took the I since i had surgery, then these! My in major GPA is a 3.6 and ive worked my ass off for 2 years with this major. Now suddenly im a shitty student? The other thing he failed to realize is that after august, my scholarship runs out and i most likely wont be able to afford to go to school here. THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE. But he doesnt care, he has his ways set and his attitude set, so screw the world.

Now im at home, and im not even going to get into any of that. I need to de stress, but apparently i cant do that. I guess tonite ill have to sit and stare at the wall.

I dont know, i hate bitching about these things, but it just seems like lately more and more roadblocks keep getting placed in front of me. I work damn hard, i do everything im supposed to do, but barely anything works out the the way its supposed to.

People who i thought i knew have changed so much its scary. People who act as though they are always there for you and want to talk about problems are such a farce. Most people just want to seem like they care so that youll do things for them. People who claim they arent selfish but if its not their way or if you do something that isnt how they do it, dammit you are such a screw up. Im tired of being judged by my so called friends, im tired of people judging what i do, how i act or what i say. I thought people were supposed to be accepting rather then picking out every single fault. I thought people who say they are accomodating only do what they want to do and want to use you for things they want to do. Other then that you are there as a resource for them. Not as a person.

Ok, im done with that. Im so frustrated right now i could explode. i dont even think talking about it will help since i dont know anyone who would really take anything about me to heart anymore and would do anything for me like i would for them.

Screw it. Hopefully ill have a happier blog later.
Positive: least im not dead.
Negative: Read above blog entry.
Quote: "I dont think you are a good enough student to pass these classes" - Dr Kolla
Song of the day: Coldplay - Everythings not lost
Cool Mac Moment: Burning a cd for Overla in 5 minutes

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