Wednesday, May 31, 2006

UA Raiding In A Nutshell!

You Too Can Experience UA Raiding!

Is life finally getting back to normal?

Hardly. Besides all this podcast/guild drama that ceases to go away, ive been trying to get back to life as normal, if there is such a thing. This past weekend, I had some friends I met through the old guild come to my place for a weekend of gaming fun time. We did our best to not talk about all the bullshit drama going on, but of course it came up. It was nice to put a face on friendship and loyalty, and all 4 of these guys for whatever reason…stand by me 100%. Its humbling, honestly. I really don’t see myself as anyone who should have people say that ive done things for them so they couldn’t see themselves doing anything but supporting me…its very different for me. You guys have been awesome.

While that is good, there has been plenty of bad. The father of my high school girlfriend I wrote about a few weeks ago committed suicide. Found out from my dad one night. I can only imagine what her and her family are going through. I know the effect its had on me, which honestly has been huge, and I wish I could help her, cause im sure shes going through a lot right now. Memorial service is this Sunday. Going to be odd going to that, then to a dinner with my parents for my birthday. 25 on june 8. Quarter century and all that.

It also sounds like my grandfather might have had a stroke. Word had it that he fell a few days ago, hurt himself pretty badly. My uncle is saying its looking more and more like it was a stroke. I sure hope its not, but I guess well have to wait and see. I guess hes not tracking really well right now. Not good. I might be going out to help in a week or so.

Ive been thinking about friendships ive had during my life. I guess I try to assume the best of everyone, and in the end seem to be let down. Happened in high school, college, and now in my “adult” life. I don’t mean adult like video stores mean adult, I put it in quotes because ive been out of college for a few years now, been working in the “real world” for a few years, and have met a lot of people, and am realizing that good people are hard to find. Good relationships are hard to forge. There are some that seem to be good, but are really just farces. My ability to trust people is diminishing more and more, when I hoped after the crap ive been through in my past that it would be growing more and more. I guess im just one of those people that is easy to fool. Say one thing to me, say something else to someone else, brian will never know. Then at an opportune time…BAM. Drop the bomb. Has happened with friends, girlfriends…etc. I guess I get a bit complacent and trust people to do the right thing or be good people. Maybe im too naieve, but when I start thinking about what to do about it, the only alternative I see is a lack of trustworthiness….which to me is useless. Id rather have a small group of really close friends id trust everything to than a large group of people who I wouldn’t let drive my car.

I guess im getting off on a rant. Short of it….things bad. Things don’t seem to be getting better anytime soon. People disappoint me.


Saturday, May 27, 2006

Once Again, Arhi Gets It Right!

Perfectly written. Thank you, Arhi.

(A response to a forum on which I cannot post anymore, because I am a "troll.")

1) I did not leave the guild because I wanted to do raiding. I left the guild because I thought that the officers had made a terrible, ill-conceived decision. Anyone who was on that night knows that is why I left. Please do not pretend that it was for any other reason.

2) I am interested in doing end game raiding. I was still highly emotional about the guild drama, but I did (and do!) have friends still in the guild. I was still interested in running instances with them. In fact, I did a few runs several days after the initial drama. However, we were informed by a guild officer that so long as we had another guild tag over our heads, we were not welcome to raid with them. This is interesting, because people who were still in the guild were being told one thing, and we were being told another. It is also interesting, because people who left the guild previously (one of whom is the brother to an officer) are still welcome on raids. This was duplicitous and a double standard. Our hope at coming to a peaceful and agreeable resolution to the whole mess faded.

3) Yes, I joined a raiding guild. The new guild we had started was comprised of people who generally needed later start times for raids. [info]plonq and I work very early, so we could never go along on these runs. This was THE deciding factor in my application to the raiding guild. Not because they are 1337. Not because I'll get phat lewts. But their raids start early, and they start on time. I actually had a lot of reservation about joining this guild, after hearing all the stuff that [info]amarafox had to go through with her guild. But nothing is permanent; if I ever decide that the raiding guild isn't for me, /gquit is always an option. So, I applied. I got in. End of story.

4) No one is recruiting people for the raiding guild OR for the guild we created for people escaping the drama of the old one. Seriously, I am calling bullshit on this. You've got screenshots? Let's see the original TGAs. You want me to stop the "recruiting?" Tell me who to talk to. No names, no discussion. The raiding guild doesn't need to recruit, and our little guild of outcasts has been bending over backwards trying to avoid any more drama. Supposedly our old guild master was trying to recruit someone who has admitted that she thinks he's a moron. Why would he try to recruit her, of all people? That makes no sense to anyone who thinks about it for all of 10 seconds.

5) I must ask that the mudslinging and guilt-tripping stop. We have been called names, on the forum and in-game. We have been accused of things we did not do. Be an adult, all of you. People have left he guild, yes. We did not lean over their shoulder and type /gquit. This is a decision that they made on their own, and blaming us for their action is insinuating that they are unable to make up their own minds. Give these people some credit.

That being said... I am enjoing myself in-game again, which I haven't been able to do in a while. (That is, I am enjoying myself when I am not getting tells from people saying, "I miss you. :(" I miss them too. It hurts.) New frontiers and all that.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Sadness. I cant take it.

Honestly, I can't take it anymore.

Ive been keeping quiet publicly about this ever since it went down about a month ago, but im sick and tired of the bullshit and crap that has happened from people that were supposed friends of mine.

Here's a little timeline.

Back in september, I helped create a gaming guild with 2 other podcasts(back when GCO was still around). My "friends" at world of warcast and my "friends" at taverncast. None of the other people who formed this guild wanted to be Guild Master, the de facto head of the group, so i voulenteered, thinking that this thing was going to be a flash in the pan. I soon was laid off from work, had alot of time on my hands, and put in hours and hours building the guild into being a huge force. I remember the day when we hit 100 members. I remember the day we first hi 400 members. It grew so fast that i couldnt effectively do everything myself. I slowly but surely looked for some members who were dedicated and hard working to help take over some of the administrative duties. Help keep discussions from getting rude, make sure noone was using bad language, help run our membership system, things like that. While they were titled officers, it was never stated that they were managers of the guild. I would ask for their input on major decisions to ensure that i was keeping in check with what was the right thing to do, but we never outlined anything stating that they had to have a voice in guild management or guild decisions. I valued their opinions because i valued their judgement, otherwise i would have never asked to bring them on to help with the important aspects of the day to day operations of the guild.

In the mean time, i got to know the folks from taverncast who asked me to come on to the show as a new host. Over the next few months, the rest of the founding members(podcasters) were in game less and less. We started to have more and more people in the guild progress to the end game stage, and were itching to work towards doing that. I spent countless hours talking to hard gaming members trying to figure out ways to satisfy their wants and needs, while trying to keep the friendly atmosphere that i worked so hard to foster from day one. I tried coming up with ways to encourage and reward people for working hard and doing end game content. It was met with nothing but friction from the officers, especially those who had never experienced the content. We tried some more end game content, but were met with limited success. I took alot of the blame for that, seeing as how i had no experience with it, and wanted to see if i was leading the groups effectively or not. I also wanted to see how other guilds were doing that content, and organizing end game groups in order to help our guild grow and mature to be able to do that. I was offered a spot in the largest end game content guild on the server, because they knew me from taverncast, needed some extra bodies and knew i could play at a high level. I took this as something like a chance to study abroad, learn from others and come back and spread that knowledge to the guild in a chance to better them and help us progress as a group. I had put so much time and effort into fostering the community(something like 32 DAYS of playing time over 7 months) that i wanted it to grow and become a serious force in our realm. I also looked at it as an opportunity to foster some more content for Taverncast, which was honestly lacking in the end game information department, from listener feedback. The self proclaimed head of the show had told me just days before that he had no interest in the game anymore, saw it and the show as "pointless" anymore, and was transitioning the content portion of the show over to me to gather and organize. This seemed like a great opportunity to get more content for the show, and i decided to go for it. I had no self serving purpose in doing this besides making the things i love(the show and guild) better by broadening my horizons. Boy was i wrong.

What happened after that was essentially a power grab. A coup. A usurping of leadership. Call it whatever you will, it was one of the biggest backstabs i had ever seen in my life. For whatever reason, my "friends" at taverncast took this as a chance to sew seeds of discorde in the officers. Stories came out later of them doing it slowly and quietly in the background before, questioning me behind my back without talking to me, openly questioning my decisions to guild members, slandering and libeling me to guild members as a chance to gain respect and finally came to a head. The ringleader did his best to paint this utopian vision of what he thought should be done, spouted more lies and misinformation, interpretation and accusations, and made me look like a traitor and enemy to everyone for doing what i wanted to do. At that point, the officers decided they knew what was best for the guild and that they were going to demote me from being the leader, and promote themselves to all be co-leaders. 10 people being the head of an organization. 10 people who were not elected by the members, not elected except for 2 by the other officers, just appointed based on their ability to help with some administrative tasks. Suddenly they know best how to lead a guild. After seeing organizations run like this many times, and fail every other time, i told them that i could not in good faith support what they were doing, and how they brought it to me. It was subvertive and rude, and didnt follow the 1 guiding principle of the guild that i had from the start. Respect. I left the guild, wishing them luck, and hoping they could keep things on track. I really did hope that they could do that.

I didnt want splintering, i didnt want devicivness. I figured id go to the new guild, find a new home and in some time things would settle down and people would get things on track. That didnt happen. People started seeing what happened, and how the officers took my quiet departure and turned it into a public mudslinging event. More and more people became dissatisfied with how things were handled, and left the guild as well. While i was flattered at the support, the last thing i wanted to do was create a situation of drama for friends of mine that i cared deeply about. I wanted them to play the game, have fun and let it be. I underestimated my friends who loyally stood by me and supported me. It was a very powerful message.

Its been about a month since this all happened, and more and more people are leaving my old guild because of issues with leadership, frustrations with the lack of support and progression with end game content and are coming either to a new guild that was formed by people that left the guild and wanted a new home, or to the end game guild that i went to. We have been called every name in the book. Subvertive, splinter group, you name it. All of us keep in touch with friends of ours in the old guild, and all we are hearing now are frustrations. Lack of direction, lack of leadership, even less progresison with end game content. This week alone ive heard from 5 different members who have said that they are either bored, frustrated or both. I dont want to be seen as subvertive or encouraging people to leave, so i listen and do what i can to comfort them. It seriously upsets me to see people upset like this.

The difficult thing is that when people leave, they attempt to be calm, cool and courteous about it. They were met with name calling, guilt trips, accusations of abandonment, false accusations of our new guild, and my end game guild as recruiting people from other guilds, and whatever other BS can be said to be inflammitory. Its honesly getting out of hand. Drama and bullshit are at an incredible level right now. If i were still GM right now, i wouldnt stand for ANYTHING the current members or officers are saying to people who decide to move on for whatever reason. I dont care what they think or feel about it, respect is what matters most. You dont respond to someones long, heartfelt post about how it hurts them to leave, but they want to experience other content with "whatever", especially not from an officer. That is not leadership, thats callous. Its showing that you dont really know how to lead, just to be rude and inconsiderate.

To top this all off, i found myself essentially being forced out of Taverncast. I wasnt overly suprised, seeing how they acted during the guild coup, but what transpired was shocking to me. I spent an incredible amount of time over the past 6 months trying to make the show better, doing what i could to grow it and make it the best Warcraft podcast on the net. The hosts of the show decided that they couldnt make a decision of wether or not i was "allowed" to be on the show anymore. They put it to the officers of the guild to see if i should come back. People who have put no time, no effort, no sweat into working on that show. They have done nothing to promote it, nothing to add content and nothing to further its production. Suddenly these people who have just stabbed me in the back hold my future of a podcast that i have worked so hard on, and they have done nothing for. I told the other hosts that if this is how they were going to decide my fate, than i was going to move on. If my friendship meant so little to them, than i wasnt going to waste my time with people who couldnt make decisions on their own, and separate what i have done to help, with the bullshit that had been spread and said about me. Because of that, a bogus statement about me leaving the show for personal reasons was posted and read on the latest show, but its not anywhere close to true. I was honestly forced out. For doing NOTHING but trying to build the show and grow the content.

Im not doing this to try to get back at anyone. Im doing this because im getting tired of seeing myself and other friends of mine who have put hours and hours of time and effort into helping others, helping Taverncast and building ourselves treated like outcasts in the rude manner that has been going on for the past month. We deserve better. Slander and libel like what has been coming out of the old guild id unnacceptable and un needed. I based the guild on respect for people. The least you all could do now is follow that principle. Alas, it doesnt look like that is possible.

Thank you erui. Thank you arhi. Thank you viceriene, quirno and bert. Thanks Cru, gydwind, poncee and uraiz, dewolla, sura, grimmloc, omnes, crynn and loliana. Thanks aldis, carliegh, cicle, gastroph and all the rest of you who are still in the pod and talk to me. I miss you guys and wish you the best. I only wish i could make things better for you guys.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

UA Forevz.

I love my guild.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Jack Bauer Hates Christmas

Im Speechless...



13:26] TJ Perfect Gent: What's a pirate's favorite thing to do on the weekend?
[13:26] waggoner98: parrrrrrrrrrty?
[13:26] TJ Perfect Gent: hehe
[13:26] TJ Perfect Gent: Or
[13:27] waggoner98: see an ARRRRRRRR rated movie?
[13:27] TJ Perfect Gent: or
[13:27] waggoner98: study arrrrrrrrchitecture?
[13:27] TJ Perfect Gent: or
[13:27] TJ Perfect Gent: lol
[13:27] waggoner98: be an arrrrrrbitrator?
[13:27] TJ Perfect Gent: or
[13:27] waggoner98: go to the national arrrrrrrrrrrchives?
[13:28] TJ Perfect Gent: or
[13:28] waggoner98: fire arrrrrrrrrrrrrtillery?
[13:28] TJ Perfect Gent: or
[13:28] waggoner98: drive arrrrrrrround?
[13:28] TJ Perfect Gent: or
[13:29] TJ Perfect Gent: come on
[13:29] TJ Perfect Gent: one more
[13:29] waggoner98: ...
[13:29] TJ Perfect Gent: You can do it
[13:29] TJ Perfect Gent: :P
[13:29] waggoner98: *thinking*
[13:29] waggoner98: plan his calandarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[13:29] waggoner98: *that one sucks*
[13:29] TJ Perfect Gent: Or
[13:29] waggoner98: im out
[13:29] TJ Perfect Gent: Water his garrrrrrrrden
[13:29] TJ Perfect Gent: or
[13:30] TJ Perfect Gent: rake the yaaarrrrrrrrrrrd
[13:30] waggoner98: wash his caaaaaaaaar?
[13:30] TJ Perfect Gent: go to the baaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[13:30] waggoner98: wish upon a staarrrrrrrrrrr
[13:30] TJ Perfect Gent: play yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr's revenge?
[13:31] TJ Perfect Gent: visit the taarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr pits?
[13:31] TJ Perfect Gent: <_>
[13:32] TJ Perfect Gent: <_<
[13:32] TJ Perfect Gent: >_>
[13:32] TJ Perfect Gent: I'm done
[13:32] TJ Perfect Gent: This is going in the blog
[13:32] waggoner98: lol

Define Irony

I spent 3-4 months constantly raiding UBRS to get my

Beaststalker Tunic.

It was the last piece i needed to complete my full Beaststalker Armor set in World of Warcraft. Never saw it drop more than once off General Drakkisath, the dragon boss in that instance. The one time it did, it went to another guildie.

Since joining Unholy Aura, Ive been able to start collecting my tier 1 epic set. Whats the first piece that i get?

Giantstalker's Breastplate.

Irony, sweet sweet irony. Oh how i love thee.

If you dont understand this, dont worry. I'm just being a nerd.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


I'm speechless, yet intrigued at the same time.

PawSense helps you catproof your computer.

Monday, May 08, 2006


It's out of my hands for now
It's out of my hands for now
I can't just walk away
It'd be nice to walk away
But I don't feel safe
Get away, all the way up here...


Bad Week

Been a bad bad week.

Dont want to get into it now...but thought id quote this post by my bud, arhi. She has quite the skill with writing and conveying my feelings .

Some monsters are scary. Some monsters are friendly. Some are just kinda useless. It all depends on how they're raised.

On a whim, you decide to adopt a baby monster. You know that they're a lot of work, and if you make any mistakes in their upbringing they can turn on you, or just die unexpectedly. But, hey, it only costs a few gold to adopt a pup, so you decide to give it a go just for fun.

You spend hours with your baby monster. You feed it, bathe it, walk it, play with it, and clean up after it. It's a lot of work. Your pup keeps growing; sometimes it's growing so fast you swear you can actually see it getting larger before your eyes! You are excited to see that your pup is actually becoming a friendly monster. You give it hugs every night before bed, and it rewards you with a sloppy wet monster kiss.

You do have a job, though, and other responsibilities. You spend all the time you can with your monster, but you see that it still needs more care. So, you ask some of your friends to help you take care of it. They agree; after all, they love playing with the monster just as much as you do. They help you with some of the chores, and play with it to make sure it gets enough exercise. You really appreciate the help that your friends are giving you. You couldn't have taken care of a monster as large as this one without the help of some handlers!

Your monster is getting to the point now where it needs some training. You look at some books and websites for advice on how to go about this, and you give it a try. Unfortunately, your attempts are met with only middling success. Your handlers give you some pointers, but they aren't professional trainers either. You need some serious help.

So, you decide to go to school to learn how to train your monster. You ask your handlers to help you out on the evenings that you're not around to work with your monster. You'll still be around a lot, but while you're learning how to better care for your monster you'll need the extra help. You worry that you'll be imposing too much on your handlers. After all, they're only here because they like you and the monster.

Well, it all backfires. Your handlers decide that it would be better if the monster - the monster that you have raised since birth - is now co-owned between all of the handlers. "It would be in the monster's best interests," they say, "if you sign over ownership to all of us."

And just like that, the monster is no longer yours. :(

One of these days....things will get back to normal.