September 24th
CSI:Miami (CBS)
CHUCK (NBC)
Heroes (NBC)
JOURNEYMAN (NBC)
September 25th
NCIS (CBS)
House (FOX)
CANE (CBS)
September 26th
CSI:NY (CBS)
BIONIC WOMAN (NBC)
LIFE (NBC)
September 27th
CSI (CBS)
The Office (NBC)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Never Forget (Cliche Alert)

Its easy to fall into hopeless and unfeeling cliches when talking about the single worst event in our nations history. People with ribbons on their cars, flags at half staff, moments of silence, etc. However, i feel that this country has gone back to its pre-sept 11th mindset. I saw a poll on the tribune this morning saying that more than half(i think 56%) of those who polled said they think the nation is less safe than before sept 11th. I hate these click polls, because it lets every idiot who doesnt watch the news as well as every idiot who wears a tinfoil hat vote. All these people have views and opinions, but so very few are based in fact.
I think this bullshit cynical attitude that the majority of the US population has right now about our need to stop Islamic Extremism is something that will continue to plague us. Has Bush handled it well? Eh, i dunno. Approval ratings be damned, i dont know how this war is won. The problem is that the public is more divisive, more petty and more whiney. We lost touch of that feeling we had on september 12th. A feeling of unity and resolve behind the need to make sure this doesnt happen again. I hate to say it, but i dont think this would be an issue if we had the problems Israel has. People feel safe. When they feel safe, they dont have to face the realities.
Ramble ramble bitch bitch. I know. Im not wishing for us to get attacked, im just so sick and tired of media bullshit, leftist whining and extreme right wing bullshit. Its a good thing presidential election is coming up. I hope Fred can make himself be the candidate i know he can be.
I digress.
Things That Annoy Me: Part 3
People who walk around with Bluetooth Headsets in....ALL THE TIME.
I think a bluetooth headset is a cool thing. Ive never owned one, but ive always thought they were neat. However, people who walk around with them in...acting like they are Secret Service agents. Is there really a situation where someone so important will call and there is no possible way they could use the handset feature of their phone? Or you know that EVERY call you have will require full motion of your hands while walking down the street or standing in line at subway?
No.
So stop it.
I think a bluetooth headset is a cool thing. Ive never owned one, but ive always thought they were neat. However, people who walk around with them in...acting like they are Secret Service agents. Is there really a situation where someone so important will call and there is no possible way they could use the handset feature of their phone? Or you know that EVERY call you have will require full motion of your hands while walking down the street or standing in line at subway?
No.
So stop it.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Ha.
Friday, September 07, 2007
New Show
New show coming to NBC. While im pissed at NBC over this whole idiotic iTunes thing, this show looks real fun.
http://www.nbc.com/Life/
Damian Lewis, also known as Dick Winters from Band of Brothers is the lead, and Adam Arkin plays an ex Felon who is his financial manager. Watch the trailers. Show looks great.
http://www.nbc.com/Life/
Damian Lewis, also known as Dick Winters from Band of Brothers is the lead, and Adam Arkin plays an ex Felon who is his financial manager. Watch the trailers. Show looks great.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Kudos, Apple. Kudos.
Smart move, big time.
Rewarding those people who made it such a big success. Classy move. After my bitching about all the service woes, this is a nice nice thing to do.
To all iPhone customers:
I have received hundreds of emails from iPhone customers who are upset about Apple dropping the price of iPhone by $200 two months after it went on sale. After reading every one of these emails, I have some observations and conclusions.
First, I am sure that we are making the correct decision to lower the price of the 8GB iPhone from $599 to $399, and that now is the right time to do it. iPhone is a breakthrough product, and we have the chance to 'go for it' this holiday season. iPhone is so far ahead of the competition, and now it will be affordable by even more customers. It benefits both Apple and every iPhone user to get as many new customers as possible in the iPhone 'tent'. We strongly believe the $399 price will help us do just that this holiday season.
Second, being in technology for 30+ years I can attest to the fact that the technology road is bumpy. There is always change and improvement, and there is always someone who bought a product before a particular cutoff date and misses the new price or the new operating system or the new whatever. This is life in the technology lane. If you always wait for the next price cut or to buy the new improved model, you'll never buy any technology product because there is always something better and less expensive on the horizon. The good news is that if you buy products from companies that support them well, like Apple tries to do, you will receive years of useful and satisfying service from them even as newer models are introduced.
Third, even though we are making the right decision to lower the price of iPhone, and even though the technology road is bumpy, we need to do a better job taking care of our early iPhone customers as we aggressively go after new ones with a lower price. Our early customers trusted us, and we must live up to that trust with our actions in moments like these.
Therefore, we have decided to offer every iPhone customer who purchased an iPhone from either Apple or AT&T, and who is not receiving a rebate or any other consideration, a $100 store credit towards the purchase of any product at an Apple Retail Store or the Apple Online Store. Details are still being worked out and will be posted on Apple's website next week. Stay tuned.
We want to do the right thing for our valued iPhone customers. We apologize for disappointing some of you, and we are doing our best to live up to your high expectations of Apple.
Steve Jobs
Apple CEO
Rewarding those people who made it such a big success. Classy move. After my bitching about all the service woes, this is a nice nice thing to do.
Madden Online
Any of you gamer kids out there played madden on XBL?
If so, lets play some games. IM tired of playing the CPU and want some multi player achievements unlocked!
If so, lets play some games. IM tired of playing the CPU and want some multi player achievements unlocked!
Finally. A Candidate I Can Support 100%.

My friends, I come to you today to tell you that I intend to run for President. I feel deeply that I am doing it for the right reasons. I love my country and I am concerned about its future. Just within the next few years, some very serious challenges are moving towards us that will present a difficult and dangerous time in the life of our nation. There are grave issues affecting the safety and security of the American people and our economic well being. I’m going to do my level best in this campaign to address these problems. I’m going to give this campaign all that I have to give, and I hope that you will join me.
Dont be surprised if you see me working this campaign.
Apple Service Rant
So, most of you know im a die hard apple fanboy. Love all my mac/apple products, but this shit cannot go untold.
When i got my mac pro, i wanted to make sure i got the best they had to offer(that i could understandably afford). I sprung for the ATI x1900 upgrade kit, since for some asinine reason, it would take an extra 1-2 weeks to get it installed if i did build to order. I got the card, installed it myself(which is not hard, a moronic chimp could pull out a video card, install a new one and connect a power lead) and then went on my merry way.
Fast forward a few months to now, and the GPU in this card is slowly cooking itself. I first noticed it within WoW, graphical tearing and artifacting. I didnt know if this was WoW issue or a software thing, so i did my normal anal research, trying to find anything i could that could explain this. Was it a V-synch issue? Was it a refresh problem? Multisampling? Well, i found out that MANY Mac users with x1900s that play WoW have the same problem. The issue? Bad video card batch. I guess these x 1900s didnt have the correct cooling thresholds, so if you use them for a long period of time, they wont cool properly and melt down. Ok. No biggie. Hardware warranty, should get it easily replaced.
I call applecare. Explain the issue, explain what i did to troubleshoot, all the research i did, etc. Ironically, the phone technician had the SAME PROBLEM with his mac playing WoW, so it was a quick and dirty call. He gave me an applecare case number, but said i had to take the system into an apple store to have them verify the issue before they could replace it. I wasnt too thrilled about lugging that beast of a machine in to an apple store, but fine, whatever. I just want it fixed. I ask if i need to set up an appointment, he said that since i had an applecare case number, i could bring it in and they should test it, swap in a new board and i would be in and out lickity split. Ha.
Now its saturday. I get up, go in to the apple store around noon. Its a frigging zoo in there. I carry this machine, which probably weighs more than small children, and head to the genius bar. A very nice girl offered to help me, and i explained my issue. She was shocked to hear that the applecare person said i didnt need an appointment, and said i had to set one up to even talk to them...like they were the frigging pope or something. OK, fine. Next appointment was at 130. I didnt feel like staying at the mall, didnt feel like driving home again...but i figured id go home and play some madden. Drove home...played some madden for about 20 minutes, then drove back up. The geniuses were running a good 30-45 minutes late. so around 215-220 i get to speak to them, and tell them the case number and they take off the case and hook the system up to power. This is where it gets fun.
He boots the machine up, lets it run for about 90 seconds....THEN TOUCHES THE VIDEO CARD. Says "Yep, its running hot." At that point...im stunned out of my mind. I went through all of this for THE TOUCH TEST? The guy put his fingers on it, and apparently felt some supreme connection with the tech support gods, and was able to accurately tell that the video card was running at non-optimal temperatures. I asked what was next, and as would be expected by the kings of irony...they didnt have any replacement cards in stock. Since it was a holiday weekend, they would order the card on tuesday, and would call me to let me know when it was in. I made sure to verify that when i brought it in, it would be a quick swap in/swap out. The genius said it would be, and not to worry. Needless to say, i still worried.
Now it is wednesday. I got a call at work saying my video card was in. Hooray! This idiocy might be over! I set up ANOTHER appointment for 615 to meet with them to get it installed. I am now practically giddy to get this finished. I race home, change and unplug my system from everything and load it up into my car. Race to oak brook, get there at 610...and find out they are running 30 min behind...again. 645 rolls around, and i finally get to talk to someone. Put my system on the bench, said that they had a video card to install and was ready for them to crack the case open and go to town.
"When can you pick it up tomorrow", Said the unshaven and somewhat smelly genius.
"...what?" I replied in a somewhat stunned manner.
Apparently their ONLY nighttime tech guy was sent to the hospital an hour earlier, and noone...i repeat NOONE had the 5 minutes it would take to swap this video card in and out. This genius was already on my shit list.
"Well, at least i dont have to waste time troubleshooting it." He said.
I thought to myself, "Does this clown have ANY idea how prissy he sounds?" For petes sake, this is a customer service operation. Acting like working with someone to fix an issue is THEIR JOB. I didnt have the time or energy to deal with this guy, so i said fine, i would pick it up the next day after work.
I can only imagine today when i go in to pick it up, im SURE that there is going to be some other kind of mind boggling snag that will require more annoying BS.
Cmon apple. I bought this video card as an upgrade kit. I installed it myself. Let me install the replacement, and i wont feel the need to slaughter innocent women and children because of your "geniuses" lack of communication skills.
When i got my mac pro, i wanted to make sure i got the best they had to offer(that i could understandably afford). I sprung for the ATI x1900 upgrade kit, since for some asinine reason, it would take an extra 1-2 weeks to get it installed if i did build to order. I got the card, installed it myself(which is not hard, a moronic chimp could pull out a video card, install a new one and connect a power lead) and then went on my merry way.
Fast forward a few months to now, and the GPU in this card is slowly cooking itself. I first noticed it within WoW, graphical tearing and artifacting. I didnt know if this was WoW issue or a software thing, so i did my normal anal research, trying to find anything i could that could explain this. Was it a V-synch issue? Was it a refresh problem? Multisampling? Well, i found out that MANY Mac users with x1900s that play WoW have the same problem. The issue? Bad video card batch. I guess these x 1900s didnt have the correct cooling thresholds, so if you use them for a long period of time, they wont cool properly and melt down. Ok. No biggie. Hardware warranty, should get it easily replaced.
I call applecare. Explain the issue, explain what i did to troubleshoot, all the research i did, etc. Ironically, the phone technician had the SAME PROBLEM with his mac playing WoW, so it was a quick and dirty call. He gave me an applecare case number, but said i had to take the system into an apple store to have them verify the issue before they could replace it. I wasnt too thrilled about lugging that beast of a machine in to an apple store, but fine, whatever. I just want it fixed. I ask if i need to set up an appointment, he said that since i had an applecare case number, i could bring it in and they should test it, swap in a new board and i would be in and out lickity split. Ha.
Now its saturday. I get up, go in to the apple store around noon. Its a frigging zoo in there. I carry this machine, which probably weighs more than small children, and head to the genius bar. A very nice girl offered to help me, and i explained my issue. She was shocked to hear that the applecare person said i didnt need an appointment, and said i had to set one up to even talk to them...like they were the frigging pope or something. OK, fine. Next appointment was at 130. I didnt feel like staying at the mall, didnt feel like driving home again...but i figured id go home and play some madden. Drove home...played some madden for about 20 minutes, then drove back up. The geniuses were running a good 30-45 minutes late. so around 215-220 i get to speak to them, and tell them the case number and they take off the case and hook the system up to power. This is where it gets fun.
He boots the machine up, lets it run for about 90 seconds....THEN TOUCHES THE VIDEO CARD. Says "Yep, its running hot." At that point...im stunned out of my mind. I went through all of this for THE TOUCH TEST? The guy put his fingers on it, and apparently felt some supreme connection with the tech support gods, and was able to accurately tell that the video card was running at non-optimal temperatures. I asked what was next, and as would be expected by the kings of irony...they didnt have any replacement cards in stock. Since it was a holiday weekend, they would order the card on tuesday, and would call me to let me know when it was in. I made sure to verify that when i brought it in, it would be a quick swap in/swap out. The genius said it would be, and not to worry. Needless to say, i still worried.
Now it is wednesday. I got a call at work saying my video card was in. Hooray! This idiocy might be over! I set up ANOTHER appointment for 615 to meet with them to get it installed. I am now practically giddy to get this finished. I race home, change and unplug my system from everything and load it up into my car. Race to oak brook, get there at 610...and find out they are running 30 min behind...again. 645 rolls around, and i finally get to talk to someone. Put my system on the bench, said that they had a video card to install and was ready for them to crack the case open and go to town.
"When can you pick it up tomorrow", Said the unshaven and somewhat smelly genius.
"...what?" I replied in a somewhat stunned manner.
Apparently their ONLY nighttime tech guy was sent to the hospital an hour earlier, and noone...i repeat NOONE had the 5 minutes it would take to swap this video card in and out. This genius was already on my shit list.
"Well, at least i dont have to waste time troubleshooting it." He said.
I thought to myself, "Does this clown have ANY idea how prissy he sounds?" For petes sake, this is a customer service operation. Acting like working with someone to fix an issue is THEIR JOB. I didnt have the time or energy to deal with this guy, so i said fine, i would pick it up the next day after work.
I can only imagine today when i go in to pick it up, im SURE that there is going to be some other kind of mind boggling snag that will require more annoying BS.
Cmon apple. I bought this video card as an upgrade kit. I installed it myself. Let me install the replacement, and i wont feel the need to slaughter innocent women and children because of your "geniuses" lack of communication skills.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
COME ON! YOUVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!
Wow. This is for real!
Im going to repeat a part of this...cause it bears repeating.
As in...ready to be fired/dropped/launched. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? There is no process in place to make sure....that something like NUCLEAR WEAPONS arent mounted on bombers unless the shit is gonna hit the fan? I mean, these things werent locked in cases...they were MOUNTED ON THE WINGS.
Oi yoy yoy.
A B-52 bomber mistakenly loaded with five nuclear warheads flew from Minot Air Force Base, N.D, to Barksdale Air Force Base, La., on Aug. 30, resulting in an Air Force-wide investigation, according to three officers who asked not to be identified because they were not authorized to discuss the incident.
The B-52 was loaded with Advanced Cruise Missiles, part of a Defense Department effort to decommission 400 of the ACMs. But the nuclear warheads should have been removed at Minot before being transported to Barksdale, the officers said. The missiles were mounted onto the pylons of the bomber’s wings.
Im going to repeat a part of this...cause it bears repeating.
The missiles were mounted onto the pylons of the bomber’s wings.
As in...ready to be fired/dropped/launched. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? There is no process in place to make sure....that something like NUCLEAR WEAPONS arent mounted on bombers unless the shit is gonna hit the fan? I mean, these things werent locked in cases...they were MOUNTED ON THE WINGS.
Oi yoy yoy.
Things that Annoy Me - Pt 2
Office Cliches/Buzzwords.
"10,000 Foot View"
"Take ownership"
"Win Win Opportunity"
"Link Up"
"Drive This One Home"
"Pound it Out"
The more i hear these ridiculous statements...the more i contemplate drinking paint thinner.
"10,000 Foot View"
"Take ownership"
"Win Win Opportunity"
"Link Up"
"Drive This One Home"
"Pound it Out"
The more i hear these ridiculous statements...the more i contemplate drinking paint thinner.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Weird.
So...ive been a dave matthews fan for a while, and as time has gone on, the videos have gotten weirder and weirder.
Today, none other than good ole DJM has released the video and single to his self produced and self performed track, Eh Hee, which has buried the needle on the weird meter.
Its a free video. Download it on itunes and check it out. At least just for the "wtf factor".
If youll excuse me, im off to sit in a barbers chair, get my face painted like a clown in a room with the floor covered in sawdust and having asexual dancers perform behind me.
Today, none other than good ole DJM has released the video and single to his self produced and self performed track, Eh Hee, which has buried the needle on the weird meter.
Its a free video. Download it on itunes and check it out. At least just for the "wtf factor".
If youll excuse me, im off to sit in a barbers chair, get my face painted like a clown in a room with the floor covered in sawdust and having asexual dancers perform behind me.
Things that annoy me - Pt. 1
Typical office banter.
Me: Hey (insert random employee), how was your weekend?
Them: Good, too short!
Me: Heh.
Its like a standard greeting now. Even 3 day weekends for people are "too short". I dont know many people who like coming into work, but still. Saying that the weekend was "too short" is just old now.
Me: Hey (insert random employee), how was your weekend?
Them: Good, too short!
Me: Heh.
Its like a standard greeting now. Even 3 day weekends for people are "too short". I dont know many people who like coming into work, but still. Saying that the weekend was "too short" is just old now.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
WoWSpace
Thursday, August 23, 2007
OMG RAIN
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Transformers 2 is back on
Looks like mouthy college kids and movie fan nerds arent the only ones to fall victim to having a war of words on internet message boards.
Michael Bay retracts his statement...just as i predicted.
So, what exactly is Michael Bay doing with TRANSFORMERS 2? -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.
Michael Bay retracts his statement...just as i predicted.
So, what exactly is Michael Bay doing with TRANSFORMERS 2? -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Wow.
Its frightening that i know some people who have SERIOUS issues determining the difference between fantasy and reality.
Scary.
Scary.
HD DVD Followup
So it seems that Michael Bay has said that because Paramount has gone HD DVD exclusive, he wont do transformers 2 out of protest.
Hmm. I think im calling bluff, but that would really suck, despite all the nerd haters out there saying "Bay ruined my childhood cause Megatron wasn't a gun!1!!!!!11eleven"
I guess we will wait and see.
Hmm. I think im calling bluff, but that would really suck, despite all the nerd haters out there saying "Bay ruined my childhood cause Megatron wasn't a gun!1!!!!!11eleven"
I guess we will wait and see.
Monday, August 20, 2007
The Format Wars Heat Up
Figures.....this happens right when i get my HD-DVD player. Sometimes, the technology gods do smile on me!
Paramount, Dreamworks dropping Blu-ray in favor of HD DVD exclusivity - Engadget
Paramount, Dreamworks dropping Blu-ray in favor of HD DVD exclusivity - Engadget
Vick Guilty
He pleads guilty to dogfighting charges.
Talk about a hit to my perception of sports heroes again. Its frightening how stupid some people are.
Talk about a hit to my perception of sports heroes again. Its frightening how stupid some people are.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Pittsburgh Weekend: Part Deuxxxxxxxxxx
Yep, went back out to Pittsburgh to visit the newly formed Sloka family. Headed out thursday afternoon via Equinox and got there around 10ish on thursday night. Spent time chatting with them and generally catching up on their post-wedding activities.
The next morning we woke up(slooks made pancakes :o ) and then headed out to get ready for the Dave Matthews Band concert. We made a grocery store stop and then met up with the other sloka siblings and a friend of Jen Sloka.
From there we headed to the amphitheatre, did some classic tailgating, drank some beers, grilled some burgers(and smores!) and got a little wind/sunburned. Was nice to get out and get some sun after being cooped up inside for all the recovery crap i had. Concert was good. Sat with Scott, Slook's brother and had a good time. Seats werent as close as in chicago, but the crowd around us was better and we were straight back from the middle of the stage, a few rows behind the soundboard. Better sound balance and better view. Setlist was alot better too including some new songs as well as a song that hasnt been around since 2000...Sweet Up And Down. Was awesome to hear it again.
Next morning i hopped in my car and made the trek home. The drive from Chicago to Pittsburgh isnt bad, esp since ive driven that road about a million times when going to, coming from, or travelling around my college days. I could have flown, maybe even saved money but i hate just driving my car 2 miles each day...i like to take the chance to let it stretch its legs a bit so it can clean itself out a bit :)
Got home in time to see the bears play saturday night. While they were playing against the texans, Rex looked SHARP. Making good reads, quick decisions, not throwing into double or triple coverage like he used to. He ended up completing 8 of 10 passes for 50 yards with an 87.5 passer rating. Not terrible. Ill take that!
Sunday night i had a date :O. Met a new girl with a familiar name...will be neat to see how it pans out. Going out again on wednesday. Looks like i need to prepare to get my ass beat in bowling.
Till then -
The next morning we woke up(slooks made pancakes :o ) and then headed out to get ready for the Dave Matthews Band concert. We made a grocery store stop and then met up with the other sloka siblings and a friend of Jen Sloka.
From there we headed to the amphitheatre, did some classic tailgating, drank some beers, grilled some burgers(and smores!) and got a little wind/sunburned. Was nice to get out and get some sun after being cooped up inside for all the recovery crap i had. Concert was good. Sat with Scott, Slook's brother and had a good time. Seats werent as close as in chicago, but the crowd around us was better and we were straight back from the middle of the stage, a few rows behind the soundboard. Better sound balance and better view. Setlist was alot better too including some new songs as well as a song that hasnt been around since 2000...Sweet Up And Down. Was awesome to hear it again.
Next morning i hopped in my car and made the trek home. The drive from Chicago to Pittsburgh isnt bad, esp since ive driven that road about a million times when going to, coming from, or travelling around my college days. I could have flown, maybe even saved money but i hate just driving my car 2 miles each day...i like to take the chance to let it stretch its legs a bit so it can clean itself out a bit :)
Got home in time to see the bears play saturday night. While they were playing against the texans, Rex looked SHARP. Making good reads, quick decisions, not throwing into double or triple coverage like he used to. He ended up completing 8 of 10 passes for 50 yards with an 87.5 passer rating. Not terrible. Ill take that!
Sunday night i had a date :O. Met a new girl with a familiar name...will be neat to see how it pans out. Going out again on wednesday. Looks like i need to prepare to get my ass beat in bowling.
Till then -
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Friday, August 03, 2007
I'm outta here.
Somedays wont end ever and somedays pass on by,
Ill be working here forever, at least until I die.
Dammed if you do, dammed if you dont
Im supposed to get a raise week, you know damn well I wont.
Workin for a livin (workin)
Workin for a livin (workin)
Workin for a livin, livin and workin
Im taking what they giving cause Im working for a livin.
Hey Im not complaining cause I really need the work
Hitting up my buddys got me feeling like a jerk
Hundred dollar car note, two hundred rent.
I get a check on friday, but its all ready spent.
Workin for a livin (workin)
Workin for a livin (workin)
Workin for a livin, livin and workin
Im taking what they giving cause Im working for a livin.
Ill be working here forever, at least until I die.
Dammed if you do, dammed if you dont
Im supposed to get a raise week, you know damn well I wont.
Workin for a livin (workin)
Workin for a livin (workin)
Workin for a livin, livin and workin
Im taking what they giving cause Im working for a livin.
Hey Im not complaining cause I really need the work
Hitting up my buddys got me feeling like a jerk
Hundred dollar car note, two hundred rent.
I get a check on friday, but its all ready spent.
Workin for a livin (workin)
Workin for a livin (workin)
Workin for a livin, livin and workin
Im taking what they giving cause Im working for a livin.
Slow week
Well, not so much slow, but very busy at work. Boss out on vacation normally means its going to be a slow week, but i have tons of work to do this week.
My WoW Paladin will be 70 this weekend. Hard to believe that the first character i ever created in the game(besides the mage i deleted at level 3) is actually going to hit level 70 and start raiding. He has his epic charger mount, decent gear and is accumulating decent reputation with the key factions. Pretty amazing. After leveling a Shadow Priest and Warlock to 70...leveling a paladin was kinda rough. Lack of damage was kinda boring. However, i found that switching from a retribution build to a holy build actually made leveling go FASTER and EASIER. Who knew?
Blizzcon is this weekend. Im excited for a new expansion, but if there is a level cap increase...im going to be kind of disappointed. Its basically saying that raids are only for the top tier raiding guilds, and who cares if 90% of players cant see TK, SSC, BT or Hyjal. Disappointing.
Watched the new Babylon 5 Movie, The Lost Tales. I was happy and disappointed at the same time. While it was nice to see Boxlietner back playing sheridan and seeing the new CG work done that made the station look incredible...while not out of place.....It seemed very low budget. I liked Babylon 5 because of the interaction of the characters and the locations, especially the station and the White Star ships. This one was filmed all on green screen, and was mostly just closeups of 2 people talking. The starfury sequence in the 2nd episode was good...but i wanted to see more of the station again, see more of the old cast and see stories that actually had different story lines, rather than just one static one for 30 minutes.
This post was going to be a short excuse of a post saying why i hadnt said anything worthwhile all week. Guess it was more than that. One last thing. Im hooked on Huey Lewis and the News lately. Its all ive been listening to on my iPhone. So awesome!
My WoW Paladin will be 70 this weekend. Hard to believe that the first character i ever created in the game(besides the mage i deleted at level 3) is actually going to hit level 70 and start raiding. He has his epic charger mount, decent gear and is accumulating decent reputation with the key factions. Pretty amazing. After leveling a Shadow Priest and Warlock to 70...leveling a paladin was kinda rough. Lack of damage was kinda boring. However, i found that switching from a retribution build to a holy build actually made leveling go FASTER and EASIER. Who knew?
Blizzcon is this weekend. Im excited for a new expansion, but if there is a level cap increase...im going to be kind of disappointed. Its basically saying that raids are only for the top tier raiding guilds, and who cares if 90% of players cant see TK, SSC, BT or Hyjal. Disappointing.
Watched the new Babylon 5 Movie, The Lost Tales. I was happy and disappointed at the same time. While it was nice to see Boxlietner back playing sheridan and seeing the new CG work done that made the station look incredible...while not out of place.....It seemed very low budget. I liked Babylon 5 because of the interaction of the characters and the locations, especially the station and the White Star ships. This one was filmed all on green screen, and was mostly just closeups of 2 people talking. The starfury sequence in the 2nd episode was good...but i wanted to see more of the station again, see more of the old cast and see stories that actually had different story lines, rather than just one static one for 30 minutes.
This post was going to be a short excuse of a post saying why i hadnt said anything worthwhile all week. Guess it was more than that. One last thing. Im hooked on Huey Lewis and the News lately. Its all ive been listening to on my iPhone. So awesome!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Hmm?
"Troubled star Britney Spears is officially single again after her divorce from Kevin Federline is finally complete."
I can has britney taime nao?
This made me laugh...
From Digg:
Too crazy? Wow.
Manson took over 150 hours of Scientology courses, rejected it as too crazy, and then went on to murder a whole bunch of people.
Too crazy? Wow.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Epic Battle
After much debate and thought, I have decided the following.
Indiana Jones Trilogy Soundtrack/Score as a whole is much better than the first or second Star Wars Trilogy Soundtracks/Scores.
While individually, certain themes/tracks may be better(Imperial March vs The Nazi Theme or Throne Room vs End Credits of the Last Crusade), I think its just a better score thats more fitting and evokes more emotion.
DISCUSS.
Indiana Jones Trilogy Soundtrack/Score as a whole is much better than the first or second Star Wars Trilogy Soundtracks/Scores.
While individually, certain themes/tracks may be better(Imperial March vs The Nazi Theme or Throne Room vs End Credits of the Last Crusade), I think its just a better score thats more fitting and evokes more emotion.
DISCUSS.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Sucking
[13:24] waggoner98: i just suck @ life
[13:25] Letters: Yeah seriously you do
Its funny cause its true?
[13:25] Letters: Yeah seriously you do
Its funny cause its true?
Format War
Well, this solidified me to be an HD-DVD user until i can find a cheap dual-platform player.
Its a 20$ drop, basically covers tax...but 5 free movies is pretty nice. I want to get the HD DVD version of Heroes - Season 1 as well...so this will be good. August 1, im off to grab it.
SAN DIEGO, July 26 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — Today at Comic-Con International 2007, Microsoft Corp. announced it will lower the price of the popular Xbox 360(TM) HD DVD Player from $199 to $179 ERP (United States only) starting Aug. 1, 2007, and will add five free HD DVD movies for anyone purchasing an Xbox 360 HD DVD Player between Aug. 1 and Sept. 30. In addition, Microsoft further solidified the Xbox 360 as the ultimate high-definition (HD) entertainment platform, with key announcements around the HD DVD launches of “300″ from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment Group and “Heroes: Season 1″ from Universal Studios.
Its a 20$ drop, basically covers tax...but 5 free movies is pretty nice. I want to get the HD DVD version of Heroes - Season 1 as well...so this will be good. August 1, im off to grab it.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Wow.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Baby Lions!
If you dont say "awww" at this, you arent human.
Extraordinary pictures that show the Pride and joy of a Lion King | the Daily Mail
Extraordinary pictures that show the Pride and joy of a Lion King | the Daily Mail
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
This is why people irritate me...
There are too many people who think they know everything.
Case in point.
What happens when you turn the AC off in the server room? - Newlaunches.com
Case in point.
What happens when you turn the AC off in the server room? - Newlaunches.com
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
I just Cried.
I just wept happy man tears.
I am a happy gamer.
Epic has confirmed that the Xbox 360 mega-hit Gears of War as well as the highly anticipated Unreal Tournament 3 are both coming to the Mac.
I am a happy gamer.
A Monday List
Some things of note for this happy(ha!) monday morning.
1. Harry Potter is getting boring. Latest movie was a snore.
2. Transformers is even awesomer(new word i created) the second time.
3. Transformers: The Game is not great art. However, like the movie, the fun lies in seeing robots kick ass and see great CG. The game is beautiful, robot fights are kind of mindless, but a totally open, fully destructable environment lends itself to some fun times.
4. Time to slowly pull myself off the hydracodone.
5. Having a nightmare that you are getting stabbed in the back and waking up to a cat pressing into your back with her paws is kind of odd.
6. Breach is an ok movie.
7. The Good Shepherd is not an ok movie.
8. Watching the original Die Hard at 745am on a saturday is funny as hell.
9. If harry knowles can get married, why am i single?
10. On second thought, save the hydracodone for work.
11. It figures that when i dont go to the USG sponosored race that i turned tickets down for, my favorite driver, Tony Stewart, wins his first race at the USG Sheetrock 400.
12. Im addicted to jolly ranchers. Peach, Blue Raspberry and Green Apple.
13. Both of my hands still hurt like hell where i had my IV's when in the hospital.
14. My old video iPod hasnt been used once since i got my iPhone.
15. Is it nerdy to want to put a die cast Optimus Prime on my desk at work?
That will do it for today. Have a good monday and rest of the week.
1. Harry Potter is getting boring. Latest movie was a snore.
2. Transformers is even awesomer(new word i created) the second time.
3. Transformers: The Game is not great art. However, like the movie, the fun lies in seeing robots kick ass and see great CG. The game is beautiful, robot fights are kind of mindless, but a totally open, fully destructable environment lends itself to some fun times.
4. Time to slowly pull myself off the hydracodone.
5. Having a nightmare that you are getting stabbed in the back and waking up to a cat pressing into your back with her paws is kind of odd.
6. Breach is an ok movie.
7. The Good Shepherd is not an ok movie.
8. Watching the original Die Hard at 745am on a saturday is funny as hell.
9. If harry knowles can get married, why am i single?
10. On second thought, save the hydracodone for work.
11. It figures that when i dont go to the USG sponosored race that i turned tickets down for, my favorite driver, Tony Stewart, wins his first race at the USG Sheetrock 400.
12. Im addicted to jolly ranchers. Peach, Blue Raspberry and Green Apple.
13. Both of my hands still hurt like hell where i had my IV's when in the hospital.
14. My old video iPod hasnt been used once since i got my iPhone.
15. Is it nerdy to want to put a die cast Optimus Prime on my desk at work?
That will do it for today. Have a good monday and rest of the week.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Voicemail
I just got a voice mail from Matt Kenseth. For you non-nascar fans out there, he is the driver that my company sponsors.

Pretty cool. Too bad it was a broadcast message to everyone in the whole company telling them to watch the races we are sponsoring this weekend. I wont be able to attend this year like i did last year since i was out on medical leave when they were giving out the passes...plus, it will be better for me to finish recovering this weekend at home rather than sit in the hot sun for 2 days straight.
Still...a nice thing to come into this morning.

Pretty cool. Too bad it was a broadcast message to everyone in the whole company telling them to watch the races we are sponsoring this weekend. I wont be able to attend this year like i did last year since i was out on medical leave when they were giving out the passes...plus, it will be better for me to finish recovering this weekend at home rather than sit in the hot sun for 2 days straight.
Still...a nice thing to come into this morning.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Narcotics
This is me at work now.

Not the sharp wit, incredible intellect or ability to save lives.
Just the foggyheaded ability to take narcotics at work.
These pain meds for my back make work kind of interesting. Cant wait till im off them. I was on 2 different kinds, now im just on 1. Hopefully i can get off this last kind soon...

Not the sharp wit, incredible intellect or ability to save lives.
Just the foggyheaded ability to take narcotics at work.
These pain meds for my back make work kind of interesting. Cant wait till im off them. I was on 2 different kinds, now im just on 1. Hopefully i can get off this last kind soon...
Hmm....
So...Dan Patrick is leaving ESPN. He announced it on his radio show yesterday.
Part of me is surprised, part of me isn't. Dan has been an ESPN icon as long as ive watched(not near as long as alot of people i know) but at the same time, he has always kind of done his own thing. Not afraid to ruffle feathers, wont hold back in interviews, almost to the point of being an ass at times. He never was my favorite sports personality, but i enjoyed most of what he did(kind of like Jim Rome).
It will be interesting to see what ESPN 1000(our local ESPN radio station in chicago) will do once he goes off the air next month. Will it be some lame local show replacement like they did when they decided not to air Jim Rome's show? Maybe they can bring Rome back to chicago radio. Who knows. Will be a BIG gap, and an interesting opportunity for ESPN radio to make a new star...or at least give someone the opportunity to be a big star.
Part of me is surprised, part of me isn't. Dan has been an ESPN icon as long as ive watched(not near as long as alot of people i know) but at the same time, he has always kind of done his own thing. Not afraid to ruffle feathers, wont hold back in interviews, almost to the point of being an ass at times. He never was my favorite sports personality, but i enjoyed most of what he did(kind of like Jim Rome).
It will be interesting to see what ESPN 1000(our local ESPN radio station in chicago) will do once he goes off the air next month. Will it be some lame local show replacement like they did when they decided not to air Jim Rome's show? Maybe they can bring Rome back to chicago radio. Who knows. Will be a BIG gap, and an interesting opportunity for ESPN radio to make a new star...or at least give someone the opportunity to be a big star.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Friday, July 06, 2007
Sickness, Optimus and iPhone
Well, its been a while since i posted, aka...most of the week. Ive been off work most of the week because of all my health junk. I went into work yesterday only to be told to go home and take friday off. My boss is pretty cool, he could tell i didnt feel well. I wanted to go in cause i had stuff in the office i needed to pick up...but the cocktail of close to 10 different meds im taking wears me out something fierce. The antibiotics alone make me sweat like ive just ran a marathon, and that isnt too attractive. So here i am. Sitting at home on a friday, kind of stoned from my pain meds...posting away.
The morning of the 4th of july, my folks and i went to see Transformers. What a frigging fun movie. Im used to movies that get so hyped up that they dont meet the hype, or they dont meet my expectations. This movie, at least in my opinion, delivered on all accounts. I havent been in a movie where i actually clapped and cheered for characters DURING the film before. This was a geek ecstasy movie if i ever saw one. The robots were great, jokes were funny, battles were awesome, f-22s were incredible and the story was fun as hell. Id even contemplate going to see it again. Whichever HD format this dvd comes out...im pretty sure that will be the deciding factor for me on which format to get(HD or Blu Ray). It was a great ride.
iPhone. Im kind of suprised i havent posted much about this since i got it. Well, i shouldnt say that. Ive been so busy playing with it that i havent had much time to write about it. Also going in the category of things that totally live up to the hype, this phone is the cats ass. It is an incredible little piece of hardware. I was kind of hesitant in getting too excited seeing as how all the press and information seemed like it was going to be wayy too good to be true....but Apple seriously delivered with this thing. The ipod features are awesome, the sms messaging is great, email is easy as hell and using it as a phone is the easiest phone ive ever had. Web surfing on it is incredible. Full web pages, using multitouch to zoom in and out of pages to find what you want, it really is incredible. The only serious complaint i have is the edge network. While i havent used it THAT much since ive spent most of the past week in my home, when i have gone out, the critics have been right...its pretty slow. I realize Apple did what they normally do in partnerships like this and went with the biggest name in the industry, but it sure would have been nice if they used sprint's broadband network. Would have been much faster and have much more room to grow. Oh well. Not a huge crisis. Id really like to be able to change ringtones to something that i can hear when my radio is on in my car...most of the ringtones are pretty quiet and subtle. I like my blackberry because it rings like a loud annoying phone, so i can hear it rooms away. I also wish it had a bigger hard drive. 8gb isnt much when this thing is such an awesome video player. Im hoping down the line, someone will have some kind of upgrade service for it like iResq did with ipods before. Id totally put a 40 or 60gb drive in this thing. If i could totally get away from using my ipod because of space reasons...id be a happy camper. 1 less device to carry around.
Ill post some more thoughts on it once ive used it for more than a week...but right now, this thing is one of the coolest gadgets ive ever gotten.
Also....anyone like playing Company of Heroes multiplayer? Im trying to get some people together to play some regular vs or co-op matches vs the computer. Its fun as hell. Hit me up @ bjwaggoner@mac.com or on AIM at Waggoner98.
The morning of the 4th of july, my folks and i went to see Transformers. What a frigging fun movie. Im used to movies that get so hyped up that they dont meet the hype, or they dont meet my expectations. This movie, at least in my opinion, delivered on all accounts. I havent been in a movie where i actually clapped and cheered for characters DURING the film before. This was a geek ecstasy movie if i ever saw one. The robots were great, jokes were funny, battles were awesome, f-22s were incredible and the story was fun as hell. Id even contemplate going to see it again. Whichever HD format this dvd comes out...im pretty sure that will be the deciding factor for me on which format to get(HD or Blu Ray). It was a great ride.
iPhone. Im kind of suprised i havent posted much about this since i got it. Well, i shouldnt say that. Ive been so busy playing with it that i havent had much time to write about it. Also going in the category of things that totally live up to the hype, this phone is the cats ass. It is an incredible little piece of hardware. I was kind of hesitant in getting too excited seeing as how all the press and information seemed like it was going to be wayy too good to be true....but Apple seriously delivered with this thing. The ipod features are awesome, the sms messaging is great, email is easy as hell and using it as a phone is the easiest phone ive ever had. Web surfing on it is incredible. Full web pages, using multitouch to zoom in and out of pages to find what you want, it really is incredible. The only serious complaint i have is the edge network. While i havent used it THAT much since ive spent most of the past week in my home, when i have gone out, the critics have been right...its pretty slow. I realize Apple did what they normally do in partnerships like this and went with the biggest name in the industry, but it sure would have been nice if they used sprint's broadband network. Would have been much faster and have much more room to grow. Oh well. Not a huge crisis. Id really like to be able to change ringtones to something that i can hear when my radio is on in my car...most of the ringtones are pretty quiet and subtle. I like my blackberry because it rings like a loud annoying phone, so i can hear it rooms away. I also wish it had a bigger hard drive. 8gb isnt much when this thing is such an awesome video player. Im hoping down the line, someone will have some kind of upgrade service for it like iResq did with ipods before. Id totally put a 40 or 60gb drive in this thing. If i could totally get away from using my ipod because of space reasons...id be a happy camper. 1 less device to carry around.
Ill post some more thoughts on it once ive used it for more than a week...but right now, this thing is one of the coolest gadgets ive ever gotten.
Also....anyone like playing Company of Heroes multiplayer? Im trying to get some people together to play some regular vs or co-op matches vs the computer. Its fun as hell. Hit me up @ bjwaggoner@mac.com or on AIM at Waggoner98.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Ugh.
So, i didnt post all last week, which some of you may or may not have noticed. Normally when i dont post for long periods of time, its because im in one or a few of the few things.
1. Depressive funk
2. Vacation
3. Nothing Pithy to Say
4. Busy with Family
Or some other things i cant think of. Now, note that not a single one of those things said "in the hospital for a week on my back dealing with Kidney stones, organ infection, pneumonia and a 104 Fever". That was my past week.
Sunday morning around 5am, i woke up with a sharp pain in my left mid back. The day before i spent playing with my 2 nieces, so i figured i just pulled something carrying those 2 sack of potatoes around. Took 2 aleve and tried going back to bed. Pain got worse and worse so that by 545, i couldnt take it anymore. I called my dad, who was surprised to hear my voice at that time of day, and told him to come get me, cause we were going to the hospital. We whisked off to Hinsdale hospital(ironically the same route he and i took when i drove him there for kidney stones about 10 years ago) By the time i was taken into the Emergency room, i could barely function. The pain from kidney stones is so terrible...i cant even put it into words.
From there it should have been simple. Get a feel for where the stone was(ultrasound and xray) and see if it was big enough to warrant going in and getting via surgery or letting me pass it on my own. Well...thats all well and good, but the stone started getting bored. Bouncing around inside my kidney, moving around, causing lots of issues. Somehow, it caused an internal infection...and my body temp started to skyrocket. all the way to consistent 104's. Doctors did everything they could to try to keep it down and keep the pain from making me see little pink dinosaurs. The pain medication got stronger and stronger and doses heavier and heavier. Thats when the real kicker set in.
At this point, it was pretty certain id be there overnight. I was put in a room for observation in-between tests. Overnight, the pain meds they gave me apparently messed up my breathing enough that fluid started to form in my lungs. The next day i could barely breathe, was coughing like there was no tomorrow and there was no end in sight.
Off to the ICU.
Now it is wednesday. Spent time in the ER. Spent time in general observation. Had CT scans, Xrays, ultrasounds, dye tests, etc all taken. Now im in the ER, having more tests done, having a dedicated nurse, more monitoring done...and it seems to be getting worse. Enough headway was made with the fever and infection(aka pummeling my system with super high levels of antibiotics) I was able to get into surgery(where they finally took the stone out) and scope to make sure that everything else was ok. Getting that out was a big big thing. The rest of wed and thurs, and then friday around 1am or so i was moved into general observation again. Fever started going down, pneumonia started subsiding and after more tests, treatments and whatnot on friday and saturday, i was able to leave around saturday night at 5.
Now im home, recouping. Id probably say im at 40%. I have about 900 different medications to take right now Going to take the next 2 days off from work, then have the 4th, and will try to go back to work on the 5th. Let me just say that this is one of the worst things i have ever experienced in my life. Has been a HUGE shock to me, and while lifestyle had little impact on it, i know that i need to change a ton of lifestyle aspects. Now to get back healthy so i can do that. I dont ever want to deal with stuff like this again.
1. Depressive funk
2. Vacation
3. Nothing Pithy to Say
4. Busy with Family
Or some other things i cant think of. Now, note that not a single one of those things said "in the hospital for a week on my back dealing with Kidney stones, organ infection, pneumonia and a 104 Fever". That was my past week.
Sunday morning around 5am, i woke up with a sharp pain in my left mid back. The day before i spent playing with my 2 nieces, so i figured i just pulled something carrying those 2 sack of potatoes around. Took 2 aleve and tried going back to bed. Pain got worse and worse so that by 545, i couldnt take it anymore. I called my dad, who was surprised to hear my voice at that time of day, and told him to come get me, cause we were going to the hospital. We whisked off to Hinsdale hospital(ironically the same route he and i took when i drove him there for kidney stones about 10 years ago) By the time i was taken into the Emergency room, i could barely function. The pain from kidney stones is so terrible...i cant even put it into words.
From there it should have been simple. Get a feel for where the stone was(ultrasound and xray) and see if it was big enough to warrant going in and getting via surgery or letting me pass it on my own. Well...thats all well and good, but the stone started getting bored. Bouncing around inside my kidney, moving around, causing lots of issues. Somehow, it caused an internal infection...and my body temp started to skyrocket. all the way to consistent 104's. Doctors did everything they could to try to keep it down and keep the pain from making me see little pink dinosaurs. The pain medication got stronger and stronger and doses heavier and heavier. Thats when the real kicker set in.
At this point, it was pretty certain id be there overnight. I was put in a room for observation in-between tests. Overnight, the pain meds they gave me apparently messed up my breathing enough that fluid started to form in my lungs. The next day i could barely breathe, was coughing like there was no tomorrow and there was no end in sight.
Off to the ICU.
Now it is wednesday. Spent time in the ER. Spent time in general observation. Had CT scans, Xrays, ultrasounds, dye tests, etc all taken. Now im in the ER, having more tests done, having a dedicated nurse, more monitoring done...and it seems to be getting worse. Enough headway was made with the fever and infection(aka pummeling my system with super high levels of antibiotics) I was able to get into surgery(where they finally took the stone out) and scope to make sure that everything else was ok. Getting that out was a big big thing. The rest of wed and thurs, and then friday around 1am or so i was moved into general observation again. Fever started going down, pneumonia started subsiding and after more tests, treatments and whatnot on friday and saturday, i was able to leave around saturday night at 5.
Now im home, recouping. Id probably say im at 40%. I have about 900 different medications to take right now Going to take the next 2 days off from work, then have the 4th, and will try to go back to work on the 5th. Let me just say that this is one of the worst things i have ever experienced in my life. Has been a HUGE shock to me, and while lifestyle had little impact on it, i know that i need to change a ton of lifestyle aspects. Now to get back healthy so i can do that. I dont ever want to deal with stuff like this again.
Friday, June 22, 2007
So...yeah. I kinda lied.
Took a few weeks off of WoW. Going to play kind of off and on. My stress level since i stopped raiding like it was a job is INCREDIBLY less. Its nice.
Although, big milestone. My first character i ever made hit level 60. Heres the shot of him.

On to 70....but not stressin out anymore. If im still havin fun playing by the time my account expires on the 5th of july, i might grab another month or 2. Well see how it goes.
Although, big milestone. My first character i ever made hit level 60. Heres the shot of him.

On to 70....but not stressin out anymore. If im still havin fun playing by the time my account expires on the 5th of july, i might grab another month or 2. Well see how it goes.
Well Written iPhone Article
Apple's New Calling: The iPhone | TIME: "Apple's new iPhone could do to the cell phone market what the iPod did to the portable music player market: crush it pitilessly beneath the weight of its own superiority. This is unfortunate for anybody else who makes cell phones, but it's good news for those of us who use them."
Check it out. Good writeup.
Check it out. Good writeup.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Newsflash!
Life is full of disappointments! Apparently im just coming to this realization.
But you know me, I'm in too deep
And I'm waiting for another me
One that can change the pain of yesterday
Carry me through another day
And I'm waiting for another me
One in between the burn
And the lessons learned
'Cause being me ain't no way to be...
Sunday, June 17, 2007
So beat...
Back from Sloka's wedding...was an INCREDIBLE weekend.
1054 miles roundtrip, but worth every one. More info later, im going to go pass out.
1054 miles roundtrip, but worth every one. More info later, im going to go pass out.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
A Lesson In Publicity.
Nerds everywhere explode.
Ironic, isnt it? Her latest movie comes out tomorrow? Smells like free press to me :P
Either way, millions of geeks suddenly think they have a shot.
Ironic, isnt it? Her latest movie comes out tomorrow? Smells like free press to me :P
Either way, millions of geeks suddenly think they have a shot.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Followup
Forgot...well, didnt forget to post after WWDC keynote. I just didnt get to it till now.
Overall, keynote was kind of underwhelming. Steve showed 10/300 of Leopard changes, where more than half were things we already knew about. New desktop and new finder is pretty nice. Back to my Mac sounds pretty awesome, a good reason to pay for .mac again. Once i eventually get the macbook pro im lusting after, being able to access my home system over the internet = win.
Other than that, i wasnt really wowed. Safari for windows is ok...kind of a ram hog, but nothing i didnt already experience on my mac. Seeing the demos with WoW was kind of funny.
Other than that, im patiently waiting to get my iPhone on june 29th. I really hope its not a letdown. My dad, the goof he is, left me a paper cut out iPhone at my apartment this week. I did a double take when i saw it, then realized it was paper. How sad.
People are asking me to come back to WoW. Hmm.
Cicadas need to GTFO. I hate these damn bugs.
Thats it for now. Heading to slokas wedding tomorrow. Will hopefully have pictures to bring back.
Overall, keynote was kind of underwhelming. Steve showed 10/300 of Leopard changes, where more than half were things we already knew about. New desktop and new finder is pretty nice. Back to my Mac sounds pretty awesome, a good reason to pay for .mac again. Once i eventually get the macbook pro im lusting after, being able to access my home system over the internet = win.
Other than that, i wasnt really wowed. Safari for windows is ok...kind of a ram hog, but nothing i didnt already experience on my mac. Seeing the demos with WoW was kind of funny.
Other than that, im patiently waiting to get my iPhone on june 29th. I really hope its not a letdown. My dad, the goof he is, left me a paper cut out iPhone at my apartment this week. I did a double take when i saw it, then realized it was paper. How sad.
People are asking me to come back to WoW. Hmm.
Cicadas need to GTFO. I hate these damn bugs.
Thats it for now. Heading to slokas wedding tomorrow. Will hopefully have pictures to bring back.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
RIP Mr Wizard
:(
Poor guy.
Mr. Wizard, the man who taught science to millions of geeks when we were kids, died today of cancer.
Poor guy.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Apple Keynote Day
Apple Worldwide Developer Conference today. Keynote in 55 min. Expected to have OS X info, some more iPhone info and other rumored announcements.
Stock Status
AAPL 124.33 (-0.16) Mon 11:44am
Will post thoughts after the 10am PST keynote.
Stock Status
AAPL 124.33 (-0.16) Mon 11:44am
Will post thoughts after the 10am PST keynote.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
The things you never did...
"To change the world,
Start with one step.
However small,
The first step is hardest of all.
Once you get your gate,
You will walk in tall.
You said you never did,
Cause you might die trying."
6/8/81 to today. Its time for a change.
Start with one step.
However small,
The first step is hardest of all.
Once you get your gate,
You will walk in tall.
You said you never did,
Cause you might die trying."
6/8/81 to today. Its time for a change.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
My Experience with the Judicial System
Well, i had a somewhat interesting wednesday.
A few weeks ago, i went over to my parents house for dinner, and was given a jury summons that came to the house. My permanent residence is still listed as my folks house since i dont really want to change it until i actually buy a place that i will be at for long term. At any rate...i got this jury summons. Date was set for june 6th, and at first i wasnt too excited. Was going to have to let my boss know, tell him i need time off, it was around the time of sloka's wedding and my birthday where i had taken days off to do stuff, so i didnt know if id have to alter plans, etc etc etc.
Then i thought about it.
Seeing as how, if i could do my life over, i would have followed my gut instinct my senior year in college and go to school for political science/Law so i could work in government, the reality of this sunk in. This was my chance to see how things work in my local judicial system. So i thought about it, and figured, either way, it would be ok.
More time went by and i started getting excited of the prospect of doing it. I know my sister did it and said it was pretty boring, but im kind of nerdy about this...so i was looking forward to just seeing the process. Ive seen tv shows like law and order, and i guess thats my only real basis...but i was still excited.
Fast forward to yesterday.
I get to the JUDICIAL CENTER(!!!) and go through security. Sign in at the jury lounge...and wait.
And wait.
And wait more.
We find out that there are a total of 3 trials in need of juries. So i figure there is a good chance ill get called. Well, the first batch of jurors got called, and i wasnt on that list. SO i waited.
Now its noon. Lunch time. The jury pool manager said he would have more info after lunch. I ate lunch. Watched more reruns of the Adams Family on TV Land, and around 115, was told that another case was added with need for a jury, to bring it to a total of 4 cases. Now i KNEW i would get picked.
10 minutes later, the 2nd jury pool was pulled....and i wasnt on the list. Now i was starting to get bored, so i took a nap. Dozed off on the couch i was sitting on and woke up here and there, watched some more TV, then around 245, we were told that the last 2 trials decided that they didnt need us. 1 went with a bench trial, the other got spooked and postponed their trial date. So...i was told to head on out.
Boring? A bit. But at least i dont have to spend my birthday in a courtroom, when my boss gave me the day off.
I hope i get called again and can actually serve. Id like to see how it works. Otherwise, oh well. Such is life.
BTW, its birthday eve. Tomorrow is the big day.
A few weeks ago, i went over to my parents house for dinner, and was given a jury summons that came to the house. My permanent residence is still listed as my folks house since i dont really want to change it until i actually buy a place that i will be at for long term. At any rate...i got this jury summons. Date was set for june 6th, and at first i wasnt too excited. Was going to have to let my boss know, tell him i need time off, it was around the time of sloka's wedding and my birthday where i had taken days off to do stuff, so i didnt know if id have to alter plans, etc etc etc.
Then i thought about it.
Seeing as how, if i could do my life over, i would have followed my gut instinct my senior year in college and go to school for political science/Law so i could work in government, the reality of this sunk in. This was my chance to see how things work in my local judicial system. So i thought about it, and figured, either way, it would be ok.
More time went by and i started getting excited of the prospect of doing it. I know my sister did it and said it was pretty boring, but im kind of nerdy about this...so i was looking forward to just seeing the process. Ive seen tv shows like law and order, and i guess thats my only real basis...but i was still excited.
Fast forward to yesterday.
I get to the JUDICIAL CENTER(!!!) and go through security. Sign in at the jury lounge...and wait.
And wait.
And wait more.
We find out that there are a total of 3 trials in need of juries. So i figure there is a good chance ill get called. Well, the first batch of jurors got called, and i wasnt on that list. SO i waited.
Now its noon. Lunch time. The jury pool manager said he would have more info after lunch. I ate lunch. Watched more reruns of the Adams Family on TV Land, and around 115, was told that another case was added with need for a jury, to bring it to a total of 4 cases. Now i KNEW i would get picked.
10 minutes later, the 2nd jury pool was pulled....and i wasnt on the list. Now i was starting to get bored, so i took a nap. Dozed off on the couch i was sitting on and woke up here and there, watched some more TV, then around 245, we were told that the last 2 trials decided that they didnt need us. 1 went with a bench trial, the other got spooked and postponed their trial date. So...i was told to head on out.
Boring? A bit. But at least i dont have to spend my birthday in a courtroom, when my boss gave me the day off.
I hope i get called again and can actually serve. Id like to see how it works. Otherwise, oh well. Such is life.
BTW, its birthday eve. Tomorrow is the big day.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Dorky
Since i have decided this week to turn my birthday into a weeklong celebration, my mother and i over lunch discussed what would be the distribution of birthdays across the days of the year. I figured that because of certain dates(valentines day)/old wives tales(blackouts) that some days would have higher numbers of conception, therefore peaking birthdays. Well, after much discussion over what sample size(10% of 6.6 billion would be a sample size of about 660 million people worldwide), how to obtain the data and other finer points, i found one of the most interesting papers ive ever read. Someone did research on the topic, however, the data is specific to college students, not a worldwide sample.
Strangely enough, the most popular birthday in america is oct 5th, exactly 9 mos after new years eve. The least popular is may 22nd.
Check out the paper here. Its pretty interesting.
Data Sample
Btw, only my mother and i would have a conversation over lunch about sample sizes, data manipulation and other forms of number dorkery.
Strangely enough, the most popular birthday in america is oct 5th, exactly 9 mos after new years eve. The least popular is may 22nd.
Check out the paper here. Its pretty interesting.
Data Sample
Btw, only my mother and i would have a conversation over lunch about sample sizes, data manipulation and other forms of number dorkery.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Hmmm
Anyone having issues with bloglines/other RSS reader not pulling in updates from people's public live journal pages? I was subscribed to about 3 journals and 3 groups...now they show issues in the feed and wont pull in updates. Tried resubscribing, but no dice.
Any of you other RSS nerds see this too?
Any of you other RSS nerds see this too?
Friday, June 01, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Vista + Boot Camp = Nightmare
Having serious issues with vista/boot camp on my mac pro.
If anyone who reads this has had experience with either, heres a link to my post on the apple discussion forums looking for help.
If anyone who reads this has had experience with either, heres a link to my post on the apple discussion forums looking for help.
Dear Sweet Lord - I Hope So
This would be a godsend. Im not happy with any repub or dem candidate right now...this would be something we REALLY could get behind.
Fred Thompson running for president - Politico.com
Fred Thompson running for president - Politico.com
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Short Day = Win
In recognition of USG's Memorial Day Holiday, employees at the Corporate Office location may leave at 2:00 p.m. on Friday, May 25, 2007. This applies to those employees who are not otherwise required to stay later to satisfy business or customer needs.
Win.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
DMB Seat Locations
8th row VIP seats for DMB in chicago. Tour Opener with sloka and the new Mrs Sloka. Think i might die a little bit here.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Meh...
So, 2 shows I was something of a fan of arent getting renewed for next year.
Jericho, the CBS drama about a post-nuclear USA that took the perspective of a small, out of the way farm town. Wasnt the best drama, had some sketchy acting and blah subplots, but the political intrigue was interesting. Plus...major dad was in it.
Studio 60, the Aaron Sorkin drama with Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry...i <3 both sorkin and whitford, but the show just didnt have an interesting premise, and im guessing from all the star power, was too expensive.
Depressing...but i guess its less TV for me to watch next year.
Jericho, the CBS drama about a post-nuclear USA that took the perspective of a small, out of the way farm town. Wasnt the best drama, had some sketchy acting and blah subplots, but the political intrigue was interesting. Plus...major dad was in it.
Studio 60, the Aaron Sorkin drama with Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry...i <3 both sorkin and whitford, but the show just didnt have an interesting premise, and im guessing from all the star power, was too expensive.
Depressing...but i guess its less TV for me to watch next year.
Monday, May 14, 2007
GO See It.
Food for Thought - Nom nom nom
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Baz Luhrmann
Friday, May 11, 2007
Shareholders mee.....i almost fell asleep just writing that
Shareholder meetings are normally boring...but this weeks Apple meeting had steve cutting out some witty and cool info. Here are my 2 favorite Steve Jobs tidbits.
Cant wait.
On Leopard's delay: "Leopard will be worth the wait. I wish developing great products was as easy as writing a check. If so, then Microsoft would have great products." (Snap!)
On the iPhone: "A few of us have been using the iPhone a lot and if you wanted it back, you would have to pry it from our dead hands."
Cant wait.
Mixed Feelings
Edward James Olmos, Admiral Adama on Battlestar Galactica says the following in an interview...
I wasnt happy with last season as much as the first 2...but not sure how ill feel when its off the air.
“We’re heading into the final season,” “Battlestar Galactica” star Edward James Olmos told If Magazine at Thursday night's Saturn Awards. “This is the final season as we speak. All of us are very saddened by that, but we always knew there was going to be a conclusion and we would find Earth, so we will be finding Earth this season.”
I wasnt happy with last season as much as the first 2...but not sure how ill feel when its off the air.
Friday
Its Friday. I feel good. Better than i have felt all week.
Looking forward to some rest this weekend after all the stress. Possibly going to see 28 weeks later(alone, like a dork) on saturday.
Other than that, much WoWing and mothers day festivities this weekend. I need to get fitted for my tux too...else sloka will spear me.
Looking forward to some rest this weekend after all the stress. Possibly going to see 28 weeks later(alone, like a dork) on saturday.
Other than that, much WoWing and mothers day festivities this weekend. I need to get fitted for my tux too...else sloka will spear me.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Why?
Im preoccupied with "why". Lately im stuck on why things are happening. Why things happened. Why they are going on.
Id wonder why....but thats part of the problem.
Id wonder why....but thats part of the problem.
Summer Hours
Ah. I love summer.
What a great company to work for.
The Summer Hours program requires a modest extension of the work, Monday through Thursday, with the benefit of alternating Friday afternoons off. Under the program, you must work at least 38.75 hours each week with a minimum of four hours worked on Friday.
What a great company to work for.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Meh.
Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late
Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about you
It's just the way you move
The way you move me
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late
Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about you
It's just the way you move
The way you move me
Monday, May 07, 2007
New Changes
Its been almost 2 years...so i figure its time for a revamp of the ole blog.
Should be up and running 100% soon!
(btw, blogger template tools own face now. Damn)
Should be up and running 100% soon!
(btw, blogger template tools own face now. Damn)
Hmmm
So, Im in a wedding in june(yay for sloka getting hitched)...but the invitation says Brian and guest.
So i need a date. For a wedding in pittsburgh.
Should i look up an escort service?
So i need a date. For a wedding in pittsburgh.
Should i look up an escort service?
Friday, May 04, 2007
I've Come To Take You Home.
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing stretching every nerve
Had to listen had no choice
I did not believe the information
(I) just had to trust imagination
My heart going boom boom boom
"Son," he said "Grab your things,
I've come to take you home."
To keep in silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Tho' my life was in a rut
"Till I thought of what I'd say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" he said "Grab your things
I've come to take you home."
(Back home.)
When illusion spin her net
I'm never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me
Today I don't need a replacement
I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" I said "You can keep my things,
they've come to take me home."
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing stretching every nerve
Had to listen had no choice
I did not believe the information
(I) just had to trust imagination
My heart going boom boom boom
"Son," he said "Grab your things,
I've come to take you home."
To keep in silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Tho' my life was in a rut
"Till I thought of what I'd say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" he said "Grab your things
I've come to take you home."
(Back home.)
When illusion spin her net
I'm never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me
Today I don't need a replacement
I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" I said "You can keep my things,
they've come to take me home."
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Get a sandwich. This is a l ong one.
I havent written anything immensely personal in a good amount of time on here. Mostly its been linking to news stories, or pictures or movies or whatever. When i first started this blog, it was a recap of what i had been doing and what went through my mind and life. Lately, its really been neither. Not really sure why. I have the time, yet i guess just not the desire to do so. Well, for anyone who still reads this thing, youll get your fill here, i guess.
Time to use the way back machine. I led an extremely naive life for the most part. Some would say sheltered, some would say introverted. I guess i could agree with both. I never was the most popular, never the most attractive, never the most fun. Im not wallowing in that. Just accepting it. Through grade school/junior high/high school, i had completely loyal friends who would do anything for me, and i would them. Good people, for the most part. Never had to worry about them talking shit about me or doing something that would impact me negatively. I was quiet, for the most part. I took what i was able to get, worked hard, was very helpful and approachable. My parents said they admired my work ethic and my ability to respectfully deal with adults over anything else. Most kids my age in our area were snotty and felt everyone owed them something. I was raised to be as humble as possible, and it never occurred to me to try to try to do something i shouldnt or get away with something. Deceit wasnt something i was even really aware of. I can still remember the first time in my life that someone deceived me. In retrospect, its a stupid story, but in the end, it really woke me up to human nature.
I remember going to a birthday sleepover for a friend of mine, Bob, when i was in grade school...4th grade, i believe. At that time, i was pretty big into Star Trek: The Next Generation, and as a young male, loved action figures. I made it my duty to collect them all, even the more rare ones, thanks to an equally nerdy father. Bob was also into the same things as i and at this party we were discussing the action figures we had. It seemed he was a big jealous at the fact i had been able to get a full set(i know this story sounds retarded, but hang in there) and decided to tell me that he had one i hadnt ever heard of. He told me it was somewhere in the toy room and that i could go look as much as i would like to try to find it. Needless to say, i looked for a good amount of time and of course, did not find it. He swore as much as a 4th grader would that he did have it and he must have misplaced it. We left it at that. The next day, i casually mentioned it to my dad, who brought up an interesting point to me...one i had never considered in my life.
He lied to me.
Now, for a 4th grader, that can be a pretty spectacular realization. Someone lied to me? All sorts of questions run through your head about it. Why? What would he have to gain? What were his motives? In the end, its an insignificant lie, but something that affected me so much as a child, i remember it plain as day. It affected me so much, that i remember the first time i ever lied to my parents...and it happened soon after that occurrence. For me, i was raised on being honest and trustworthy. Sunday school, boy scouts, general moral teachings from my parents...i never thought to do anything else. However that incident at the birthday opened my eyes to the fact that there are many people who lie for one reason or another. People who were not like me, who wouldnt do the right thing. I remember the feeling when my parents found out i had lied. I remember how i promised myself to never let that happen again...as much as a 4th grader could promise that.
Fast forward to high school, a far cry from 4th grade. Lying and deceit is an everyday occurrence in high school. For me? I guess i might have changed. White lies about where my homework was, why i was late to class, why i was spaced out and couldnt answer the question...all those things happen. Im talking BIG lies. Big LIFE CHANGING lies. Where i was last night. Who was i with. I wanted my parents to trust me. I wanted my friends to trust me. I wanted my teachers to trust me. When a friend of mine who was always teased and jabbed (by...well, id say the popular crowd, but it was really everyone) committed suicide after consistently telling me it didnt bother him, i guess i started to realize that even the smallest lies have big consequences. The lasting effect of that was something that cant be measured.
Ah college...where i learned more about how "real" people function than any skill set that would be helpful in my career. Being introduced to a whole new area of the country..meeting more rich snobby kids like i was used to in HS to the simple farm kids and all types in between. Met women who were only in college to find a husband, some who were looking for a career and some who were just looking for their next drug hookup. Some used sex as a weapon, some who used it as a tool. Was a big shock my freshman year. I grew up ALOT that year. 2 of my closest family members, my great grandparents, died within a few months of each other. I learned how people can use someone else with no feelings of remorse, and i learned how people can get consumed by their feelings. was a pretty eye opening first year.
Sophomore year, i learned more about pain and deceit than i ever have in my life. Most of my close friends know what im talking about. I always had heard about cheating and infidelity in a relationship, but nothing ever prepares you for it when it happens to you. Not only the pain of your significant other betraying you, but add on top that it happened with friends of yours...gets pretty wild. I guess ive never really recovered from that issue or the entire relationship. Trust me, its not for lack of work or effort. Ive talked to people, both professionally and non and still, it affects me to this very day. I dont trust like i used to, i dont open up to people like i used to. However, since then, i have talked endless hours with her and have come to terms with what happened. Doesnt change the effect of that, but at least there was closure(as lame and cliche as that sounds)
Took me some time and alot of self discovery to get back into dating after that debacle. Finally, my senior year i got in a great relationship, probably the best relationship(based solely on our feelings for each other) i have ever had. I would do anything for her. She would do anything for me. We eventually got engaged after being together almost a year. We got engaged on Valentines day(oh no! How cliche!) and despite issues with her family, her deciding what she wanted to do with the rest of her life and my insane travel schedule...we managed to stick together for another 8 months. I loved her more than i loved anything else, even to this day...which made the next part that much harder. I basically had a breakdown in late October/November of that year. Wasnt pretty. Decided i needed to get my shit together before i could ever be a good boyfriend/husband for her. She didnt understand it at that time. Later on(at least a year later) she did understand after dealing with some things on her own...but it was too late. When i was ready...she didnt want me back. Thus ends that chapter. Was totally devastating to me. Ive dated some in the almost 3 years since that happened...but nothing worth writing home about. Im totally incapable of opening up, im totally uninterested in being close with someone since it seems like im destined to failure in one way or another. Have i ever gotten over this issue with her? I guess i thought i did. Well...maybe im wrong.
So why the big open heart emo post about shit ive talked about before?
Well, i cant sleep this week. I guess thats a misstatement. I sleep for about 20 min at a time. When i do sleep, i have crazy vivid dreams. Some of the past, some of potential future, but both are centered around that last relationship. My mom has always told me that dreams are a way of your subconscious working things out. Thats understandable, but right now, it aint working jack shit out. Its just playing this stuff over and over now for a week. Its affecting how i function at work, how i function personally and im tired as hell. Not only that, its brought back immense feelings of heartbreak from all my past relationships, but most notably this one. Reliving probably the biggest mistake i ever made over and over and over is pretty much the worst thing i could wish on someone. But for some reason, here i am.
I know im not who i once was. Im not as strong as i used to be. Professionally, im more successful. I have a great job at a great company making great money for someone my age. Personally, im a mess. Borderline bipolar, uncontrollable anger out of nowhere, deep bouts of depression. Why? What the hell is going on that brings this on? Ive tried doing some soul searching over the past 6-8 months and have literally gotten nowhere. It seems like the longer i go on...the more i dig into a hole. I dont know what to do....however, now my dreams are focusing on this one event in my life.
I dont know why im posting this here. I guess I dont have anyone close enough to talk to about this anymore. Maybe i need to vent? Im seriously at a loss for what to do right now in my life on a personal level.
Blah.
Time to use the way back machine. I led an extremely naive life for the most part. Some would say sheltered, some would say introverted. I guess i could agree with both. I never was the most popular, never the most attractive, never the most fun. Im not wallowing in that. Just accepting it. Through grade school/junior high/high school, i had completely loyal friends who would do anything for me, and i would them. Good people, for the most part. Never had to worry about them talking shit about me or doing something that would impact me negatively. I was quiet, for the most part. I took what i was able to get, worked hard, was very helpful and approachable. My parents said they admired my work ethic and my ability to respectfully deal with adults over anything else. Most kids my age in our area were snotty and felt everyone owed them something. I was raised to be as humble as possible, and it never occurred to me to try to try to do something i shouldnt or get away with something. Deceit wasnt something i was even really aware of. I can still remember the first time in my life that someone deceived me. In retrospect, its a stupid story, but in the end, it really woke me up to human nature.
I remember going to a birthday sleepover for a friend of mine, Bob, when i was in grade school...4th grade, i believe. At that time, i was pretty big into Star Trek: The Next Generation, and as a young male, loved action figures. I made it my duty to collect them all, even the more rare ones, thanks to an equally nerdy father. Bob was also into the same things as i and at this party we were discussing the action figures we had. It seemed he was a big jealous at the fact i had been able to get a full set(i know this story sounds retarded, but hang in there) and decided to tell me that he had one i hadnt ever heard of. He told me it was somewhere in the toy room and that i could go look as much as i would like to try to find it. Needless to say, i looked for a good amount of time and of course, did not find it. He swore as much as a 4th grader would that he did have it and he must have misplaced it. We left it at that. The next day, i casually mentioned it to my dad, who brought up an interesting point to me...one i had never considered in my life.
He lied to me.
Now, for a 4th grader, that can be a pretty spectacular realization. Someone lied to me? All sorts of questions run through your head about it. Why? What would he have to gain? What were his motives? In the end, its an insignificant lie, but something that affected me so much as a child, i remember it plain as day. It affected me so much, that i remember the first time i ever lied to my parents...and it happened soon after that occurrence. For me, i was raised on being honest and trustworthy. Sunday school, boy scouts, general moral teachings from my parents...i never thought to do anything else. However that incident at the birthday opened my eyes to the fact that there are many people who lie for one reason or another. People who were not like me, who wouldnt do the right thing. I remember the feeling when my parents found out i had lied. I remember how i promised myself to never let that happen again...as much as a 4th grader could promise that.
Fast forward to high school, a far cry from 4th grade. Lying and deceit is an everyday occurrence in high school. For me? I guess i might have changed. White lies about where my homework was, why i was late to class, why i was spaced out and couldnt answer the question...all those things happen. Im talking BIG lies. Big LIFE CHANGING lies. Where i was last night. Who was i with. I wanted my parents to trust me. I wanted my friends to trust me. I wanted my teachers to trust me. When a friend of mine who was always teased and jabbed (by...well, id say the popular crowd, but it was really everyone) committed suicide after consistently telling me it didnt bother him, i guess i started to realize that even the smallest lies have big consequences. The lasting effect of that was something that cant be measured.
Ah college...where i learned more about how "real" people function than any skill set that would be helpful in my career. Being introduced to a whole new area of the country..meeting more rich snobby kids like i was used to in HS to the simple farm kids and all types in between. Met women who were only in college to find a husband, some who were looking for a career and some who were just looking for their next drug hookup. Some used sex as a weapon, some who used it as a tool. Was a big shock my freshman year. I grew up ALOT that year. 2 of my closest family members, my great grandparents, died within a few months of each other. I learned how people can use someone else with no feelings of remorse, and i learned how people can get consumed by their feelings. was a pretty eye opening first year.
Sophomore year, i learned more about pain and deceit than i ever have in my life. Most of my close friends know what im talking about. I always had heard about cheating and infidelity in a relationship, but nothing ever prepares you for it when it happens to you. Not only the pain of your significant other betraying you, but add on top that it happened with friends of yours...gets pretty wild. I guess ive never really recovered from that issue or the entire relationship. Trust me, its not for lack of work or effort. Ive talked to people, both professionally and non and still, it affects me to this very day. I dont trust like i used to, i dont open up to people like i used to. However, since then, i have talked endless hours with her and have come to terms with what happened. Doesnt change the effect of that, but at least there was closure(as lame and cliche as that sounds)
Took me some time and alot of self discovery to get back into dating after that debacle. Finally, my senior year i got in a great relationship, probably the best relationship(based solely on our feelings for each other) i have ever had. I would do anything for her. She would do anything for me. We eventually got engaged after being together almost a year. We got engaged on Valentines day(oh no! How cliche!) and despite issues with her family, her deciding what she wanted to do with the rest of her life and my insane travel schedule...we managed to stick together for another 8 months. I loved her more than i loved anything else, even to this day...which made the next part that much harder. I basically had a breakdown in late October/November of that year. Wasnt pretty. Decided i needed to get my shit together before i could ever be a good boyfriend/husband for her. She didnt understand it at that time. Later on(at least a year later) she did understand after dealing with some things on her own...but it was too late. When i was ready...she didnt want me back. Thus ends that chapter. Was totally devastating to me. Ive dated some in the almost 3 years since that happened...but nothing worth writing home about. Im totally incapable of opening up, im totally uninterested in being close with someone since it seems like im destined to failure in one way or another. Have i ever gotten over this issue with her? I guess i thought i did. Well...maybe im wrong.
So why the big open heart emo post about shit ive talked about before?
Well, i cant sleep this week. I guess thats a misstatement. I sleep for about 20 min at a time. When i do sleep, i have crazy vivid dreams. Some of the past, some of potential future, but both are centered around that last relationship. My mom has always told me that dreams are a way of your subconscious working things out. Thats understandable, but right now, it aint working jack shit out. Its just playing this stuff over and over now for a week. Its affecting how i function at work, how i function personally and im tired as hell. Not only that, its brought back immense feelings of heartbreak from all my past relationships, but most notably this one. Reliving probably the biggest mistake i ever made over and over and over is pretty much the worst thing i could wish on someone. But for some reason, here i am.
I know im not who i once was. Im not as strong as i used to be. Professionally, im more successful. I have a great job at a great company making great money for someone my age. Personally, im a mess. Borderline bipolar, uncontrollable anger out of nowhere, deep bouts of depression. Why? What the hell is going on that brings this on? Ive tried doing some soul searching over the past 6-8 months and have literally gotten nowhere. It seems like the longer i go on...the more i dig into a hole. I dont know what to do....however, now my dreams are focusing on this one event in my life.
I dont know why im posting this here. I guess I dont have anyone close enough to talk to about this anymore. Maybe i need to vent? Im seriously at a loss for what to do right now in my life on a personal level.
Blah.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Guild Kill of Attumen.
Spartans_Attunmen.avi
We are through prince in my WoW guild, but our GM recorded this last night. Was a pretty flawless kill.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Summer Movie List
April 27
- Next
May 4
- Spider-Man 3
May 11
- 28 Weeks Later(Will i really see this in the theatre?)
May 18
- Shrek the Third
May 25
- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
June 8
- Ocean's 13
June 15
- Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
June 27
- Live Free or Die Hard
July 4
- Transformers
July 13
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
July 27
- The Simpsons Movie
August 3
- The Bourne Ultimatum
- Next
May 4
- Spider-Man 3
May 11
- 28 Weeks Later(Will i really see this in the theatre?)
May 18
- Shrek the Third
May 25
- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
June 8
- Ocean's 13
June 15
- Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
June 27
- Live Free or Die Hard
July 4
- Transformers
July 13
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
July 27
- The Simpsons Movie
August 3
- The Bourne Ultimatum
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Bad Day.
If she's out there somewhere-somewhere
I would give everything to know.
Just to hold and to finally have her,
Take me to sunrise from indigo
If it's to be
That there's just no one for me
I'll try not to cry much
So no one will see
But if it's to be
That there is anyone for me
Our hearts will shine
So everyone will see
I've got some time,
So maybe if you're free
I could use a friend
Just to talk to me
I would give everything to know.
Just to hold and to finally have her,
Take me to sunrise from indigo
If it's to be
That there's just no one for me
I'll try not to cry much
So no one will see
But if it's to be
That there is anyone for me
Our hearts will shine
So everyone will see
I've got some time,
So maybe if you're free
I could use a friend
Just to talk to me
Meh
Been sick. Still sick. Bronchitis/Pneumonia. Not a good time.
Been out of work all week...came in today to catch up on stuff. Verdict on tomorrow is still out.
Been out of work all week...came in today to catch up on stuff. Verdict on tomorrow is still out.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
What the hell?
Can someone tell me what this means? This is my fortune from my fortune cookie at lunch.
Uh...mint circles?
"Now is the time to make circles with mints. Do not haste any longer."
Uh...mint circles?
Monday, April 09, 2007
New York Minute
Lying here in the darkness
I hear the sirens wail
Somebody going to emergency
Somebody’s going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hand on tooth and nail
The wolf is always at the door...
- Don Henley
I hear the sirens wail
Somebody going to emergency
Somebody’s going to jail
If you find somebody to love in this world
You better hand on tooth and nail
The wolf is always at the door...
- Don Henley
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
I Love This Town
Only In Chicago. I love this town. I used to frequent that establishment before we moved buildings too.
Best part is...the thing just walked in and hopped in the cooler. Oh man.
ABC7Chicago.com: Coyote caught at downtown Quiznos
Best part is...the thing just walked in and hopped in the cooler. Oh man.
ABC7Chicago.com: Coyote caught at downtown Quiznos
Monday, April 02, 2007
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