What a day, blog fans...what a day.

First off, weather? MAKE UP YOUR MIND. it was almost 50 today, then 30 then almost 50 then 30. Rain, sun rain sun rain....make up yer MIND! Meh, i think ill get over it eventually.

Work today was....work. ITS, im taking this listproc problem on head on. There is an EDHD listproc that has over 4800 subscribers to it, and someone got klez on it. For those of you that dont know what klez is, its a real nasty self propogating virus, and it does it through email. So, as you could imagine, its now infected tons of people and is propogating over this listproc. 600 bounced filtered emails a day. Yah, thats a shload. The owner was told by the person who adminitsters all listprocs that she has to "deal with it" I dont buy that, and im going to fix this goshdarn it....if its the last thing i do.

RCC. Got all of our shit done today...so i get to take friday off! WOO!! Getting to go home early is always good :) Oh yes, the music lab in the kreischer batchelder lab(there ya go di) is now up and ready to go. All we need are signs and a computer image(i.e. software package for those of you non techies out there) Desks are together, machines set up, keyboards, headphones, etc are all connected and secured. Im looking at this lab to be one of the things as my legacy. Ive worked on this thing for over a year and a half...and its really cool to see it come to be. *sigh*

Speaking of things from a year and a half.....what a strange night it was for me. I talked for 4 hours with someone from my past...pretty much the most important someone from my past. Its amazing how you take so long to get over someone, and then it takes so little time for all those feelings and memories to come back and slap you in the face again. The talk was good and bad. good in the fact there was some "closure" i guess, but bad in the fact that everything i thought came true. How you hope the other person in the relationship who hurts you feels remorse, wishes they did something different, wishes they could have another crack at it to see what would work if you would have known about these things beforehand or would have acted like an adult. Thats harder for me to hear then hearing "im happy without you brian, i did what i did because we werent working". Love is a difficult thing. Its very very hard for me to work on these things after whats happened. Like we said, the good things were VERY good, but the bads were also very bad. Bad feelings go away over time, but the good ones linger. When you talk about a relationship almost 2 years later, its easy to overlook the pain and suffering, but its easy to say, hey wasnt it nice when we were in love? Wasnt it nice to feel secure with each other? Wasnt it nice to know i have you and you have me and nothing will ever tear that apart? Its a strange situation when it is torn apart. When its gone, when life gets thrown around and when someone gets hurt. I miss that security, i miss that love. I miss feeling like noone could hurt me, because i have someone who will love me. Sure, since then, ive become more independant, almost too much, but i feel empty. Im quick to kill potential relationships because i dont feel how i felt with the one. Will i ever find another one where i match like that or better? Sure im young...but im doubtful. Im a tough guy, and besides episodes of babylon 5, 24 and that part of armageddon where bruce willis kicks afflecks ass back in the elevator so hes the one to die, i rarely get choked up. Right now is one of those times. This is pretty hard for me to deal with. Wow.

Yah, so i got a chatterbox now. I know its in an annoying place, but if anyone wants to help me put it on the side, im more then willing to take the help...cause i suck at HTML. < /end wags bitch>

My vid card came for my mac today, so now all i need is my Monitor and keyboard and ill be sitting pretty. Monitor is coming back from KDS in an RMA, and my keyboard is on its wayyyy...wooooo

Well, im off to bed....gotta breathe through the *arrrrnge*(as brad would say) spray that we need to use to kill the cats litterbox stink. Nite all...leave me some love on AIM or the chatterbox, i could really use it after tonite.

*****************************************
Positive: Talking to Mandy
Negative: Talking to Mandy
Quote: "Well, a bent carboard tube is beter then a screwdriver in vance's neck....wait, no its not" - Fertel
Song of the day: All You Wanted - Michelle Branch
Cool Mac Moment: Shes SO CLOSE to being a full system!! SOO CLOSE!!!
*****************************************