Sadness. I cant take it.

Honestly, I can't take it anymore.


Ive been keeping quiet publicly about this ever since it went down about a month ago, but im sick and tired of the bullshit and crap that has happened from people that were supposed friends of mine.


Here's a little timeline.


Back in september, I helped create a gaming guild with 2 other podcasts(back when GCO was still around). My "friends" at world of warcast and my "friends" at taverncast. None of the other people who formed this guild wanted to be Guild Master, the de facto head of the group, so i voulenteered, thinking that this thing was going to be a flash in the pan. I soon was laid off from work, had alot of time on my hands, and put in hours and hours building the guild into being a huge force. I remember the day when we hit 100 members. I remember the day we first hi 400 members. It grew so fast that i couldnt effectively do everything myself. I slowly but surely looked for some members who were dedicated and hard working to help take over some of the administrative duties. Help keep discussions from getting rude, make sure noone was using bad language, help run our membership system, things like that. While they were titled officers, it was never stated that they were managers of the guild. I would ask for their input on major decisions to ensure that i was keeping in check with what was the right thing to do, but we never outlined anything stating that they had to have a voice in guild management or guild decisions. I valued their opinions because i valued their judgement, otherwise i would have never asked to bring them on to help with the important aspects of the day to day operations of the guild.

In the mean time, i got to know the folks from taverncast who asked me to come on to the show as a new host. Over the next few months, the rest of the founding members(podcasters) were in game less and less. We started to have more and more people in the guild progress to the end game stage, and were itching to work towards doing that. I spent countless hours talking to hard gaming members trying to figure out ways to satisfy their wants and needs, while trying to keep the friendly atmosphere that i worked so hard to foster from day one. I tried coming up with ways to encourage and reward people for working hard and doing end game content. It was met with nothing but friction from the officers, especially those who had never experienced the content. We tried some more end game content, but were met with limited success. I took alot of the blame for that, seeing as how i had no experience with it, and wanted to see if i was leading the groups effectively or not. I also wanted to see how other guilds were doing that content, and organizing end game groups in order to help our guild grow and mature to be able to do that. I was offered a spot in the largest end game content guild on the server, because they knew me from taverncast, needed some extra bodies and knew i could play at a high level. I took this as something like a chance to study abroad, learn from others and come back and spread that knowledge to the guild in a chance to better them and help us progress as a group. I had put so much time and effort into fostering the community(something like 32 DAYS of playing time over 7 months) that i wanted it to grow and become a serious force in our realm. I also looked at it as an opportunity to foster some more content for Taverncast, which was honestly lacking in the end game information department, from listener feedback. The self proclaimed head of the show had told me just days before that he had no interest in the game anymore, saw it and the show as "pointless" anymore, and was transitioning the content portion of the show over to me to gather and organize. This seemed like a great opportunity to get more content for the show, and i decided to go for it. I had no self serving purpose in doing this besides making the things i love(the show and guild) better by broadening my horizons. Boy was i wrong.

What happened after that was essentially a power grab. A coup. A usurping of leadership. Call it whatever you will, it was one of the biggest backstabs i had ever seen in my life. For whatever reason, my "friends" at taverncast took this as a chance to sew seeds of discorde in the officers. Stories came out later of them doing it slowly and quietly in the background before, questioning me behind my back without talking to me, openly questioning my decisions to guild members, slandering and libeling me to guild members as a chance to gain respect and admiration...it finally came to a head. The ringleader did his best to paint this utopian vision of what he thought should be done, spouted more lies and misinformation, interpretation and accusations, and made me look like a traitor and enemy to everyone for doing what i wanted to do. At that point, the officers decided they knew what was best for the guild and that they were going to demote me from being the leader, and promote themselves to all be co-leaders. 10 people being the head of an organization. 10 people who were not elected by the members, not elected except for 2 by the other officers, just appointed based on their ability to help with some administrative tasks. Suddenly they know best how to lead a guild. After seeing organizations run like this many times, and fail every other time, i told them that i could not in good faith support what they were doing, and how they brought it to me. It was subvertive and rude, and didnt follow the 1 guiding principle of the guild that i had from the start. Respect. I left the guild, wishing them luck, and hoping they could keep things on track. I really did hope that they could do that.

I didnt want splintering, i didnt want devicivness. I figured id go to the new guild, find a new home and in some time things would settle down and people would get things on track. That didnt happen. People started seeing what happened, and how the officers took my quiet departure and turned it into a public mudslinging event. More and more people became dissatisfied with how things were handled, and left the guild as well. While i was flattered at the support, the last thing i wanted to do was create a situation of drama for friends of mine that i cared deeply about. I wanted them to play the game, have fun and let it be. I underestimated my friends who loyally stood by me and supported me. It was a very powerful message.

Its been about a month since this all happened, and more and more people are leaving my old guild because of issues with leadership, frustrations with the lack of support and progression with end game content and are coming either to a new guild that was formed by people that left the guild and wanted a new home, or to the end game guild that i went to. We have been called every name in the book. Subvertive, splinter group, you name it. All of us keep in touch with friends of ours in the old guild, and all we are hearing now are frustrations. Lack of direction, lack of leadership, even less progresison with end game content. This week alone ive heard from 5 different members who have said that they are either bored, frustrated or both. I dont want to be seen as subvertive or encouraging people to leave, so i listen and do what i can to comfort them. It seriously upsets me to see people upset like this.

The difficult thing is that when people leave, they attempt to be calm, cool and courteous about it. They were met with name calling, guilt trips, accusations of abandonment, false accusations of our new guild, and my end game guild as recruiting people from other guilds, and whatever other BS can be said to be inflammitory. Its honesly getting out of hand. Drama and bullshit are at an incredible level right now. If i were still GM right now, i wouldnt stand for ANYTHING the current members or officers are saying to people who decide to move on for whatever reason. I dont care what they think or feel about it, respect is what matters most. You dont respond to someones long, heartfelt post about how it hurts them to leave, but they want to experience other content with "whatever", especially not from an officer. That is not leadership, thats callous. Its showing that you dont really know how to lead, just to be rude and inconsiderate.

To top this all off, i found myself essentially being forced out of Taverncast. I wasnt overly suprised, seeing how they acted during the guild coup, but what transpired was shocking to me. I spent an incredible amount of time over the past 6 months trying to make the show better, doing what i could to grow it and make it the best Warcraft podcast on the net. The hosts of the show decided that they couldnt make a decision of wether or not i was "allowed" to be on the show anymore. They put it to the officers of the guild to see if i should come back. People who have put no time, no effort, no sweat into working on that show. They have done nothing to promote it, nothing to add content and nothing to further its production. Suddenly these people who have just stabbed me in the back hold my future of a podcast that i have worked so hard on, and they have done nothing for. I told the other hosts that if this is how they were going to decide my fate, than i was going to move on. If my friendship meant so little to them, than i wasnt going to waste my time with people who couldnt make decisions on their own, and separate what i have done to help, with the bullshit that had been spread and said about me. Because of that, a bogus statement about me leaving the show for personal reasons was posted and read on the latest show, but its not anywhere close to true. I was honestly forced out. For doing NOTHING but trying to build the show and grow the content.

Im not doing this to try to get back at anyone. Im doing this because im getting tired of seeing myself and other friends of mine who have put hours and hours of time and effort into helping others, helping Taverncast and building ourselves treated like outcasts in the rude manner that has been going on for the past month. We deserve better. Slander and libel like what has been coming out of the old guild id unnacceptable and un needed. I based the guild on respect for people. The least you all could do now is follow that principle. Alas, it doesnt look like that is possible.



Thank you erui. Thank you arhi. Thank you viceriene, quirno and bert. Thanks Cru, gydwind, poncee and uraiz, dewolla, sura, grimmloc, omnes, crynn and loliana. Thanks aldis, carliegh, cicle, gastroph and all the rest of you who are still in the pod and talk to me. I miss you guys and wish you the best. I only wish i could make things better for you guys.